From the time 2010 started, a lot of things have been happening. A head spinning swirl of emotions, an unsettling conundrum hanging up in the air, changes that are directly and indirectly affecting me and the people I care about. No, I am not laying it on thick but this silly sod of a person (that’s me) got scared again. I do not like life’s “little surprises” especially those that will rock my boat.
The other day, I was looking at myself in the mirror. I usually hate looking at myself in the mirror because I always see (and find) flaws. But going through this mundane activity, I learned to go beyond the physical features and accept what’s there. Especially those that I cannot do anything about.
At that particular moment, I looked at the mirror longer than the usual. I tried talking to myself. Not in a crazy kinda of way but I read somewhere that talking to yourself in the mirror is “healthier” than talking to yourself without it and you’re just blabbing in the air pretending that you’re talking to someone. Talking to yourself in the mirror is least to say, “saner” because you are aware of the presence of another being aside from yourself—which is also you but in different/another dimension. For the life of me, I can’t remember from what book I’ve read it but I am sure this is not an original idea.
Anyway, as I go through this unusual but rather “sane” routine, I remembered this particular scene from the movie, “The Truth About Cats and Dogs,” which is my one of favorite ultimate feel-good films by the way. While on the phone, Noelle Slusarsky said to Abby Barnes:
“Did you ever look yourself in the mirror so long that it doesn’t make sense anymore? It just becomes all these shapes. Just shapes. Not good or bad.”
I looked at the mirror and gave myself a huge smile. It left a few lines on my face. The face is pretty much the same, but the lines reminded me of what life has been and the life I will be leaving once I tried unloading these tons of hangups. I know I will never run out of them, but at least I am learning to unload.
I saw a big change in me. It took me awhile to figure it out. But I did. A deeper perspective, that is what I have earned the last few years.
There is no such thing as "a bad year" for someone, I will make this year a lucky one for me! :-)