I was at PowerBooks the other day. I had no money and no intention of buying any particular book. I just needed to wind away my time because I was early for this group meet at Figaro. As I was looking over the books, I found Doris Lessing’s “The Golden Notebook” which has a rather interesting quote at the back (or at least, it was something that struck my curiosity so I picked it up). I wanted the book.
For one, Lessing is British. Second, it’s a work that explores mental and societal breakdown or what Lessing referred to as "inner space fiction". Third, it’s included in TIME Magazine’s 100 best English-language novels (1923-present). But like I said, I had no money and had no intention of buying any particular book. Perhaps tomorrow.
You know what they say about keeping things to yourself so as not to create fuzz or issues to other people? Well it’s true. But for me, I keep things to myself because I am afraid of people judging me. I tend to say things I don’t mean to say all because I want people to always feel good about themselves (even at the expense of hurting or belittling myself).
MB was in LB last weekend. He told me that their whole family was having a double-celeb for K and his dad. He said I could pass by the resort if I have the time. I said I’ll try. I told him it was my brother’s birthday. At the back of my mind, I had no intention of going. And then he asked: “Di ka na dumaan?” I said (in a joking manner): “Sabi mo lang naman dumaan e. Di mo naman sinabi yung pangalan ng resort”. He retorted: “I thought kung dadaan ka tatanungin mo kung saan.” What is wrong in this scenario??? Haha. My friend said, it was all on me. I am the problem. She told me, I do not know how to read a hint. Until now, I could not see the "hint". heck, if you asked someone to go somewhere, I think it's nothing but natural to immediately say where you wanted that person to go right? right? (or maybe my friend was right). I am the problem.
The other day I was craving for a slice of Uno’s cheesecake. Yesterday, it’s gelato-on-stick (pistachios). I wonder what will I be craving in the next few days.
We’re having this outreach program this coming Saturday. I was quite happy on the turnout of people who wanted to help us. I never thought I would come up with sponsorships for 43 kids. I still have a few pledges on my account and donations in-kind. Happy, happy. People are genuinely kind.
I am beginning to feel edgy about my thesis proposal. Looks like I need an overhaul and…FOCUS. Brrr!