Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Reflection for 2008

I am in a pondering mood

I don’t usually do this. Summarizing ‘what has been’ and thinking ‘what would be’ in the coming years to come. I am simply not the type. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I do plan my life, but I am not the type who freaks out when things don’t come out as I hoped it would be. I just don’t like to linger on things. Except for some (wallowing days which I chose to put myself into), I think I could pretty much move on easily. My philosophy in life: Things happen for a reason. Or if I couldn’t see a (good) reason now, I know I could think of one later on. We continue to live because we find means and reasons for our existence.

When I was in high school, I have one great plan for myself. To finish college, get a decent job, and ultimately, be rich. I don’t know where did such vigor come from, but at that time, I really thought I would make it at the age of 24 (silly me). Thinking about it now, all I can do is laugh. My plan sounds very predictable or very causal, as my friend would term it. Given enough luck and opportunity, my plan is pretty much doable. Or so, I thought. I did finish college. I did get a job. Other than that, I have nothing. But I am fine with it. Really.

Most of the time, my cynical side gets the better of me that I overlook the good fortunes that come my way. I guess it’s inherent. We, human beings always long for the things that we can’t have. And we tend to cry over the things that we know we can’t have not because it’s impossible but because we simply chose to give up on it. I am like that most of the time.

I simply choose to give up. I don’t want to feel all sappy about it, but I guess we take turns in our ‘misfortunes’. That is the circle of life. Even so, it depends on how we take these misfortunes into something we could work on into something better and hard challenges. And that’s my resolution for 2008, to be less pessimistic and to always try to look beyond the obvious.

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Last week, a friend from college sent me a private message into my freindster account. And the message goes:

it seems i dont know you anymore.... but i would like to remember you as my friend who walks with me from UP gate to crossing almost every afternoon during our college days. i really hope we can see each other soon... let's have coffee... even just in LB ...

My first reaction was to laugh. And then I wondered what made her said that. She was my best buddy during college. I said, "was" because after I went to work in Manila, we weren't able to get in touch. Then I wondered. Have I really changed that much? My innerself is screaming a big "NO!" Except for the physical attributes (my hair have gotten long, gained a few pounds) and a deeper and hungry perspective about life, I guess I am pretty much me.

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I am planning to cut my hair short. Really short. Hmm. I wonder what my mother's reaction would be. She'd hate me for it. Quite sure.

15 comments:

Rey said...

When I was in elementary, my plan is to get rich and dominate the world. hehe...

Now I'm just happy being a family man.

Is this picture of the hundred islands? I haven't been there. It's a shame to be in many other countries but can't even tour your own.

Oh, and think twice before cutting your hair short.

Jim said...

things happen for a reason and I believe the changes in your life was for the better, just don't forget to share it with those who love you especially friends who became part of our lives one time or another. ;) Happy New Year! Proud to be your friend!

pieterbie said...

Your philosofy and mine match pretty well.
Rich, what is rich?
I was thinking about this this morning. After what seem like a lot of days off, I was wondering why I do it. Take the train to Brussels, spend long hours at work, and then work more when I get home.
Why don't I set up my own business closer to home and become rich?
Everyting has its up and downsides, and when is one truly rich?

You've done it now.
You are going to have your hair cut short.
So how about a before and after portrait?
I dare you.
If you dare, I will do the same.
Although "long" in my case, isn't that long at all. I haven't worn my hair long since my "before college" days.
Happy New Year, Rayts!

haggis basher said...

at 24 all I wanted to do was get stoned!! and I did.... and still do... Life is good!

Citizen of the World said...

A very disturbing comment from your friend. At any rate, a happy new year, Ms Rita!

kyels said...

Yes, things happen for a reason and there are blessing in disguise among the events that had happened.

(:

That message; I received them a few times before, friends claiming that I've changed when I haven't because we weren't able to keep in touch often. She'd understand one day.

Ferdz said...

Hapet! Love the pic. Hundred Islands ba yan?

That's a neat philosophy there. But it also helps if you have like an ideal to follow. You my not always reach for that settled goal, but the effort is what really counts on each endeavor. Dreaming for me is where everything starts.

Nakupo sa friend mo. Ganyan talaga buhay. I always believed that we meet people at the right place and time to give us lessons, pag tapos na we move one. Not that they are no longer friends, but beings like us continue explore. Post mo buhok mo pagka gupit mo ha :P

my gulch said...

Rey,
yes. this is indeed Hundred Islands. i went there for the second time. we got a nice and sunny weather. an opportune time to take photos. been really thinking about it. not just cutting it, but really cutting it short. never had that hairstyle before. thanks.

jim,
thanks. love your words of wisdom. same here. proud to be your friend. well, except that you're in Australia right now, i believe and think you're pretty much the good ol' Jim I knew from college, hehe. goodluck man.

peter,
i think we've been pretty much walking on the same line ever since.

rich? my idea of "being rich" when i was in high school is all literal and worldly. i have always believe it is human's nature to long for material pleasures and since we lack that, I have desired it and has been my motivation to move up to the ladder. but we come to terms with ourselves eventually. i realized that life is not all that. now, the term "rich" has come to a certain immaterial level. being rich with things that nowadays are hard to measure and hardy achievable such as 'certainty' and 'inner peace'. they sound lame but they are also conceptual. hard to grasp. you just know you've achieved it at a certain point of your life. i am nowhere there yet.

you dare me? i have yet to make a decision here. cutting my hair (really) short has always been one of my pathetic dilemas. we will see. don't you think there are far more important photos to feature than my "before and after" hairdo. hehehe! happy new year, Peter.

Mike,
hehehe. and how come it doesn't surprise me anymore. enjoy your life, mate! happy new year.

dylan,
na-distrub ka ba? ganyan talaga yan, hehe. life is good and he's making the most out of it. how was your new year by the way? salamat sa text. by the way, jessica zafra has a new book, Twisted 8. much thinner and it's black. ayos. got my own copy already.

kyels,
i actually answered her back. i was thinking, maybe she said that because of the many places i've been too. we've never talked about traveling before, and i have never mentioned about it. i've never told her about the places i wanted to go and explore. i gave her my number so we could have our coffee but she never replied. oh well. happy new year Kyels!

Ferdz!
yup, hundred island nga. ito yung paborito naming spot kase halos ka-level mo na yung mga nagkalat na island. sabi ko nga, buti walang nagpapakamatay dito, kase napaka-suitable niyang kalaglagan. yung katulad sa mga movies. hehe. morbid ba?

dreams have always been my driving force in life. you can always go overboard, afterall dreaming is free, no one defines a limit. but sometimes, we tend to get lost in our dreams that it becomes difficult to touch bound with reality. but that's all me being pessimistic again. i guess you're right. even though our dreams failed, it's the effort and the lessons learned along the way that count. Happy new year Ferdz! ;-)

Toe said...

Naks naman Rayts! It's very deep (yung tubig sa dagat ha). :) But you know... ako din... when I was in high school, I thought I'd retire at 30. Now, I'm pushing 40 and still working my ass off. But it's nice that you've written this. When you do get rich (and you will), you can read this again and remind yourself that even during this simple time, you were happy. Happy New Year Rayts!

Anonymous said...

ey, rayts, ako naman ang magsasabing nakaka-relate ako with what you wrote. though i never wanted to be rich (pero aminin na nating wala rin namang gustong maging mahirap...comfortable life lang siguro for me, enough para di problemahin ang pera), parehas tayo in the sense that people sometimes think i'm different. tingin ko lang, baka naman minsan, yung kabilang tao ang nagbago, hindi ikaw...puwede rin yun di ba?

i wish you all the best this 2008!

--sel

my gulch said...

Hi Toe!
naku deep talaga akong tao. di lang tayo masyadong nakapag-usap kase nahihiya pa ako, pero deep talaga ako noh. deep. DEEPektib ang utak!

i have a gazillion of dreams when i was in high school. and i really thought i would make it. i always tend to think ahead of time during that time and i was always in a hurry. feeling ko kase nun, konti na lang ang oras ko so lagi akong naghahabol. until finally, i realized that there's more to life than being rich.

so yung pangarap kong maging 'filthy rich' wala na yun. kinalimutan ko na. pangarap ko na lang ngayon, isang bagong Porche at isang mansion sa Ayala Alabang. yun na lang.

Sel!,
ako din. kumportableng buhay ayos na. yung tipong pag may nangutang, oo agad ako kase alam kong di ako kukulangin.

pwede nga. maaring siya ang nagbago. or pwede ring dahil hindi niya ako madalas ma-imagine sa isang sitwasyon kaya niya naisip yun. nung college kase ako, super behave ako (not that i am not behave right now), but i don't go places. bahay, simbahan at school lang ako, pramis. so nung nag-work ako ng Manila, naging laman na akong lansangan. nanay ko nga di na ako mahagilap minsan, hehe. kung bakit daw lagi na lang akong di mapakali sa isang lugar.

Diong said...

Rayts...malayo ang tingin... :-)

Happy new year Rayts! Ganda kuha... di pa ako nakakapunta ng hundred isplands... :-(

philippine dragonfly said...

sarap mag-senti sa beach, no? dipa kasi ako punta sa beach uli kaya wala ako post like that :P

Tien said...

I read from somewhere that we are constantly changing but from our perspective, things always seems to change...

Anyway, love to see a picture of you with short hair cut!

my gulch said...

diong,
happy new year Diong!

tutubi,
hehe. onga lalo na pag ganyan kaganda at kalinaw ang dagat. happy new year!

Tien,
i guess we are changing. afterall, that is the only constant thing in the world. Happy nEw yEar!

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