Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Sometimes giving your 100 percent is never enough

always 100 percent

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anaïs Nin~

Anaïs Nin could have scribbled and explained it better in one of her famed journals that provides deep and explorative insights on human life and relationships. But to me, her sentiments mean more than anything else right now.

I guess no one would want to stay forever in the bud. Our destiny has been pre-determined and those that come in between are the only things that we'll ever have control of. Eventually, there is a need to get out of the shell to bloom and accept the thought that these once beautiful and lively petals would loosen its grip from the bud and eventually fall off, wither and die.

I’ve always look at self-discovery as a constant process. Everyday, we discover little pieces of ourselves. And those that we find, we pick them up in the most unlikely places. And in that moment of discovery there’s this chance that we may not like what we find, but we accept them hoping it will explain a missing puzzle about ourselves. Hoping to explain why we are right now.

Today, I learn not to cry over spilled milk. It’s insignificant. Yesterday’s opportunity could never be regained and so were the actions made. What we have are lessons learned and constant reminders, hoping not spill the milk again. We learn to appreciate things that were long-forgotten and we remember people that we’ve hurt along the way hoping that in due time they would forget and learn to forgive. I just have to accept the fact that sometimes, it takes time for me to learn. Experience will (somehow) make me smart.

I learn that nothing could be perfect no matter how much we tried. Perfection is but an envisage to delineate the lines of imperfection. It’s tantamount to the power of the opposites. You can never appreciate happiness without knowing grief and desolation; you can never appreciate being fulfilled unless you experienced being discontented; you can never appreciate beauty if you have not seen the ugliest side of life.

Most of all, I learn that enduring is not a sin. You have to move on alright but to linger has a good effect in itself because by then you are able to recognize the pain it brought in your life. You realize that although moving on is ideal, sometimes, it’s also good to indulge and wallow. And that is exactly what I am doing right now. WALLOW.

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6 comments:

the donG said...

Perfection is but an envisage to delineate the lines of imperfection.>>> i simply agree.

so it's just the right time to wallow.

pieterbie said...

So you have become a very wise woman. I love this photo, as a sports fan I can really appreciate this. And as a fan of pretty young women I can also enjoy the half smiles in the background. Great looking girls!

kyels said...

Imperfection is the factor that makes us all unique and beautiful; at least that's what I'd like to think b/c through those flaws, we can judge ourselves to be better people.

(:

Sidney said...

Looks like you wrote this post especially for me...;-)

Life just gave me a formidable blow on the head...no warning... just out of the blue... and now I need to lick my wounds.

I will be out of blogging for some time... don't know when I will be back...just need to get on my feet again...I am not going to surrender so easily...

Thank you for your insightful comments on my blog. It was always a pleasure to read your comments.

Say hi to OKI...it is very thrilling to know that someone out there like what you are doing... even if there is not the slightest chance you will ever meet.
I call this good vibes... it challenges you to do better...

So, thanks for both your support.

I write and write about my little problems... but it seems life isn't sweet to you either.
But I know you are a fighter so I am sure you will be sooner on your feet than me! ;-)

ndiginiz said...

Tena koe ehoa
Kind of lost me Rayts, I'm not sure if I'm tuned into this or if it's over my head...?
I tend to think though that we are sometimes the measure of our frailties in that we know better the sorrow of life rather than the simplistic beauty of it. We tend to judge who we are, what we have and what we like from the measure of not having any of those things we would like. Yet when we do get them has it changed our life so much? Have we become a better person for the acquisition?
We live to want and want for what we don't have, it is to me the essence of humanity at it's hedonistic best.
I'm going to see Sidney's blog soon though I hope he hasn't gone from the community as it would appear from his above comment.
I hope that the world hasn't landed on your toes Rayts and that you can bare the hardship of a day with the determination it takes to run.... for however long, the race of life.

Ferdz said...

If everyone's perfect, I can imagine how boring our world would be. Hahaha. It's those little inconsistencies in everyone of us which makes the human world quite interesting.

Hope you're doing ok now.

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