There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anaïs Nin could have scribbled and explained it better in one of her famed journals that provides deep and explorative insights on human life and relationships. But to me, her sentiments mean more than anything else right now.
I guess no one would want to stay forever in the bud. Our destiny has been pre-determined and those that come in between are the only things that we'll ever have control of. Eventually, there is a need to get out of the shell to bloom and accept the thought that these once beautiful and lively petals would loosen its grip from the bud and eventually fall off, wither and die.
I’ve always look at self-discovery as a constant process. Everyday, we discover little pieces of ourselves. And those that we find, we pick them up in the most unlikely places. And in that moment of discovery there’s this chance that we may not like what we find, but we accept them hoping it will explain a missing puzzle about ourselves. Hoping to explain why we are right now.
Today, I learn not to cry over spilled milk. It’s insignificant. Yesterday’s opportunity could never be regained and so were the actions made. What we have are lessons learned and constant reminders, hoping not spill the milk again. We learn to appreciate things that were long-forgotten and we remember people that we’ve hurt along the way hoping that in due time they would forget and learn to forgive. I just have to accept the fact that sometimes, it takes time for me to learn. Experience will (somehow) make me smart.
I learn that nothing could be perfect no matter how much we tried. Perfection is but an envisage to delineate the lines of imperfection. It’s tantamount to the power of the opposites. You can never appreciate happiness without knowing grief and desolation; you can never appreciate being fulfilled unless you experienced being discontented; you can never appreciate beauty if you have not seen the ugliest side of life.
Most of all, I learn that enduring is not a sin. You have to move on alright but to linger has a good effect in itself because by then you are able to recognize the pain it brought in your life. You realize that although moving on is ideal, sometimes, it’s also good to indulge and wallow. And that is exactly what I am doing right now. WALLOW.