Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
You know how sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night, not exactly knowing why. You slept very late but then you wake up and found tons of thoughts drifting away like hell. They easily disintegrate even before you can make some sense out of it. And why is it that you always get caught up in a mess that you're not supposed to be included in the first place? Why?
Someone told me once that "I walk like a duck." I was in elementary. I got so conscious that I tried changing it. The guy was a jerk and he hated me for hating him. But I opted to change. I guess, for a girl my age, walking like a duck is not the coolest thing.
Recently, someone accused me of "not listening enough" whenever he pours out his heart to me. He has a point. Listening to his past lovers and how he couldn't get over them just bores me at times. I don't even know why he's telling all these things to me. I never asked about his private life, anyway. And I thought I was a good listener. I felt guilty afterwards that I tried listening more to his stories. I tried looking more into his eyes whenever he speaks of his ex.
Why do I have to change everytime someone tries to pick on my peculiarities? Why am I always conscious? guilty? I guess it boils down to one, little detail which I failed to tell you. These people who always pick on me, I care for them the most. Thus, whatever they say, they will ALWAYS affect me.