Extending horizon and changing perspective

I have extended my horizon for my own comfort. Not extending it too much because I love my status quo.

Most of my friends have either moved into another country, got married, well established in what they do. My best buddy is now a mom (a dream come true). Someone just got two interviews for a well-compensated jobs at ADB and IRRI. Someone just bought her 2nd car. Someone is opening her own business line. Where the heck am I? Stuck in my own comfortable but "unchallenging nook".

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I love what I am doing. I may not have (all) the money to afford a new car and or a new house...as my salary does not even compensate for my vices (photography, traveling, etc.) but I get by. It's just that, I feel like I need to be somewhere else. Did you ever get that feeling wherein you feel like you are not supposed to be where you are? But then again you do not know where you're supposed to be. Crazy shit.

Yesterday, the boss informed me about a foreign travel. "Rayts you will be our official representative for this activity." I smiled ( a formal, casual one). The same smiled I gave him when he told me I will be on a one-week official trip to South Korea.

I've been eyeing to go to this country and I have it in my hand right now. In November, if every thing pushed through, I will be there. Walking between those Great Walls, and if I get lucky, (perhaps) it will be winter when I get there.

I guess somehow, I need to change my perspective. And perhaps see what's ahead.

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I was taking your photo...

...while you take your time taking the photo of another. And then you whispered to me, "Pretty isn't she?"

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You clasp your hands, close your eyes and let your heart speaks

One thing I could clearly remember from my childhood is that I was a prayful kid. Influenced by a religious mother, praying was the first thing she ever taught me and my two siblings. I enjoyed praying when I was a kid, it was like talking to an invisible friend and he's grantings my wishes. Then I grew up. I had problems believing in the unknown. People whom I called authorities in the field started blocking my incurable quest to know and to question things. Blind faith was something I could not reckon with. Then came college and every thing was messed up. I was no longer that prayful kid and my mother called me an heretic, worst she called me a follower of Satan just because I refused going to church.

Later in life something happened along the way. And I started praying again...enjoying my quiet time. Sometimes, I think I have been praying too hard that I have been getting immediate answers.

Except for this one thing that I’ve been praying for (a long time). It seems to bounce off heaven’s door.

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[postscript]

* masyado ka lang bang makulit na ganoon na lamang niya pagbigyan ang kahilingan mo? O sadya ka lang malakas sa kanya?

* A close friend of mine gave birth to a baby boy yesterday morning. This is how she informed me via SMS: "Rayts, he came out na, this AM. healthy." As simple as that. This gave me a five-second smile. I got excited. Her dream of becoming a mom to a baby boy came true. We shared the same dream, mine I think is far from happening...at least not any time soon.