Extending horizon and changing perspective

I have extended my horizon for my own comfort. Not extending it too much because I love my status quo.

Most of my friends have either moved into another country, got married, well established in what they do. My best buddy is now a mom (a dream come true). Someone just got two interviews for a well-compensated jobs at ADB and IRRI. Someone just bought her 2nd car. Someone is opening her own business line. Where the heck am I? Stuck in my own comfortable but "unchallenging nook".

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I love what I am doing. I may not have (all) the money to afford a new car and or a new house...as my salary does not even compensate for my vices (photography, traveling, etc.) but I get by. It's just that, I feel like I need to be somewhere else. Did you ever get that feeling wherein you feel like you are not supposed to be where you are? But then again you do not know where you're supposed to be. Crazy shit.

Yesterday, the boss informed me about a foreign travel. "Rayts you will be our official representative for this activity." I smiled ( a formal, casual one). The same smiled I gave him when he told me I will be on a one-week official trip to South Korea.

I've been eyeing to go to this country and I have it in my hand right now. In November, if every thing pushed through, I will be there. Walking between those Great Walls, and if I get lucky, (perhaps) it will be winter when I get there.

I guess somehow, I need to change my perspective. And perhaps see what's ahead.

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And I whispered to the guy beside me...

"Excuse me but I need my sustenance."

I was on my 6th cup of coffee when I felt the urge to unload. I was having some information overload and it was only 2 in the afternoon, we have yet to listen to at least four more plenary presentations. The thing was, there were more than 500 people inside the hall and I was at least 20 feet away from where the coffee was. I had to go through a lot of people, invading their listening pleasure (to which I doubt if they are able to absorb all of them since some of them refused to move already). But then again we have to endure the remaining more hours because we paid P2,500 just to get an inside peak to this event.

Interestingly, I learned a lot. I am not an economist nor an engineer; a scientist nor an IT expert; definitely I did not graduate from Harvard or Stanford (as most of the speakers are); not an entrepreneur either but somehow, I was able to survive.

I told my colleague: "Nanotechnology...get that? Do you know any other term for that? It's molecular manufacturing!" He argued on me on that, but I knew better. I already searched it in Google while the speaker was lecturing the hullabaloos about the subatomic level and the quantum realm.

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The problem with sleeping (really) late...

...is that you get really, really sleepy when you are attending a meeting. No amount of caffeine could make this silly head awake. My head was drooping all the time. My eyes were shutting down on its own. Why do they have to schedule a meeting at two in the afternoon. Geezus.

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All the pretty horses

She loves rock music and keep it loud even with earphones. You fear that one day, she’ll have a problem with her sense of hearing because of that habit. Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chili Pepper, Nirvana, Eddie Vedder. What are the odds? She loves books and traveling.

But most of all, she loves all the pretty horses and have been a great rider.

I am all that. Except that I’ve never ridden a horse.

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Last night, I went to see the movie, “Shaolin”. I thought it was a Jacky Chan film, it turned out that he was only playing a supporting role to Andy Lau. I never really expected much from the film as I just went there to be entertained. I never really had a plan of watching it. I just want to treat myself to a movie after going through a rigid exam. Surprisingly, I went home satisfied. The film imbued some nice realizations. Some really nice things to think about. What goes around, comes around.

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My boss confessed something that made me go through a lot of thinking lately. She asked: What do you value the most, loyalty or friendship?

We do what we do because of a certain conformity to what we think (and believe) is the best (or what is right). Not only because of self-preservation but because it is the right thing. But sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing.

Knowing where you need to go, that has always been the (basic) rule of the game

A man leads the early morning traffic along Macapagal Blvd. We are heading to the SM Mall of Asia for the biotechnology exhibit. This particular road looks great at night, especially during this time of the year. So many lights, suddenly this seemingly dull looking street becomes spectacular.

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[postscripts and randomness...]

I've been having a crazy schedule lately and my (awful) sleeping habit is making it worst. This afternoon, I was attending a planning workshop for info officers and I swore I could have just snoozed there in front of every one. Don't blame me. The topics were boring and the speakers were lulling me to sleep. Tomorrow, it's another "boring concert at the park"...strat plan in Tagaytay. geezus.

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Some guy who was supposed to be a friend of a former colleague at the office called me awhile ago to offer me a part time job. The guy works in a company somewhere in Ortigas. The words "part time job" and "good compensation" and "leadership potential" instantly brought a nice spellbounding interest into my ears. He said, this former colleague recommended me for the job. To cut the story short, I got interested and confirmed a sched for an interview. Little did I know that the job has something to do with "networking". Good thing I called back and asked him the details. At that instant, I backed out.

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what does it take to be called..."timang?" is it synanymous to being "stupid"?

i need a wiper to put myself to sleep...

i want that red Sanuk I spotted the other day at SM Mega...

i texted MB and counted how many minutes before he was able to answer back...average of 3-5 minutes. not bad.

i've been craving for Yellowcab's Dear Darla all day and i don't even like pizza to begin with.

I would stand in traffic just to follow you and in the middle of the street, I will cry out your name

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

~eecummings

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[postscript]

I am supposed to write an article but I could not figure out where and how to begin. I am reading Random House’s Guide to Good Writing and it’s doing me no good, at least in making me want to start to write. i need my muse.

I try to look up as much as I can

…hoping to see a different perspective, hoping that in that angle I will forget.

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[postscript]

Missing “their” company
Today is the second week. I will never be used to this empty ‘space’. There used to be so much warmth and sound. I missed bumping into someone and greeting them with so much oomph. Now it was all too quiet and solemn. I’ve gotten (so) used to their faces and company, now I look around and see nothing but gaps and unspoken verves. The office looks miserable without them. Heck, I miss my friends.

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Mr. Brightside your shine never ceases
You and I
We might be strangers
How ever close we get sometimes
Its like we never met ~ wilco

Your influence rubs off like a glue. It sticks, it lingers. I' am scared that one day, you will leave too (or me, for that matter) and I've gotten used to such presence and 'closeness' that I do not know what to do if I call and you won't be there to answer. You always say the right things at the right time even the right words to say. Always safe, nonetheless sincere. There is no room for assumption but my mind always plays tricks on me. I will wait for the day. I made a deal two months ago. I will keep my part of the bargain even if it means, forever losing you.

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Leaving
I hope the trip pushes through. I hope. I need sometime away. Fate, be my alliance. Be on my side. Grant me this, just this one.

Persimmon for the uncomprehending brain

There are those days when you could not write. Lack of materials, slothful moments, lexis, pesky editor, work pressure —whatever is the reason they are there, constant impediments to your productivity.

But there are MORE of those days when you could not write just because you lack the ability to construct even one heck of a sentence that makes sense. Work brain, work!

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mr. brightside sent something. one of my favorite things in the world but it was sent "for us".

No “soft ripples” today

We come and go like ripples in a stream...

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[postscript]

“Trip through your wires”

For the last two days, “people” have been coming and going into my boss’ cube and for the last two days I could hear a conundrum of emotions pouring in—people asking for advice. Where the hell am I? For awhile, I thought I was in a psych’s office. “Okay guys, consultation hour is over!” I wanted to shout out. My boss has instantly become a shrink. Okay, it’s not my fault that I hear them. Their voices are overpowering my music. What’s going on in the world?

In as much as I wanted to give a lady-gaga-poker-face attitude, I could not. I hate the fact that it’s taking over Bono’s voice. U2 sound wickedly awful with that kind of murmur in the background. So I took off my earphone and went with the flow. I was pretending to be busy with "other" things but I was all ears.

Patient #1: “Bakit kailangan nila kaming singilin sa ganoong paraan?” (this was followed by a yowl).

Patient #2 “Yan naman ang nagiging problema sa mundo kapag walang balanse,” (said in a spiteful tone).

Again, what's going on with the world? Can't this people find a better place to vent?

Afterwhile, I could not bear it anymore. I went back to my own world. Happy to hear Bono singing again...

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mr. brightside...for the fourth day. i should make him a poem. looks like he is exceeding my expiration. what is wrong with this equation: me + gown + wedding = funny. hmmm.

Aging with grace

Aging is inevitable. Something we all can't escape. But not all can go about aging with such grace the way I knew this guy. To the Sociologist students in UP Diliman, he is Professor Manuel Bonifacio, for us at the office (and his friends), he is simply, Doc Boni.

Today, P and I went to Goldilocks to buy a cake for him as we will celebrate his "24th" birthday. He won't reveal to us his (real) age so we stood by what he announced to us during lunch, "I am 24." Everyone laughed. But even though his physical appearance denies such claim, Doc Boni is truly young at heart.

He's one of our esteemed consultants at the office. He's one of the few people I know who can easily adapt with all kinds of people. I knew by heart his credentials,but he refrains me for always talking about it. I knew that he finished his PhD at the University of Pennsylvania and that he's been a consultant to various projects whether government or private. He should have been retired by now and should have opted to stay at home but he said, he'll get sick that way. He's one of the few people who can climb the stairs all the way to the third floor of our office everyday and still smile at the top all the way to his cubicle. In fact he's the only person who consistently greets me "Hi and Good morning" everyday.

He's the sweetest. He gives me littlest of things. A piece of candy. Coffee. Sugar for refill. Soda. Chocolates. A cd of instrumental music for relaxation. He said, "So you can write and relax ." (A sweet spite I guess. He knew I listen to rock music).

But he's not just sweet to me. He's sweet to everyone. I guess that is why he is well loved.

To the sweetest guy alive. More birthdays to come Doc Boni. Cheers!

One good and practical advise that he always tells me: "Rayts finish your MA thesis!" (haha)

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2009 Bright Leaf Photo Exhibit

We were at the Hyatt Hotel and Casino in Manila last Friday for the 2009 BrightLeaf Agriculture Journalism Award. One of my colleagues, Miko won the "Best Agriculture Feature Story" for the national category. Her winning piece, “When fish catch a cold, the rest of the world sneezes” highlights the effects of climate change specifically in the fisheries sector. Her article came out in our Digest, which made her winning extra special for me since, this our first time to join and we already got an award. I am (so) proud of what she has achieved. If there's one person among our writers who is suited to receive the award, it's her. She's a great writer. She's thorough and insightful.

There was a photo exhibit at the lobby, which I languidly looked over and over while waiting for the program to start. It turned out that 5 out of the 10 entries I sent were included among the photos exhibited. I will try to feature them here in my next post. Obviously, I didn't bag any award that night, but the thought of having my photos displayed and being gawked at along with the other great photos is enough for me.

Anyway, this year's Bright Leaf Photo of the Year was taken by Edgardo Espiritu titled, "Spice Scarecrow"

It's funny but I have a similar photo entry. Well, almost the same concept, minus the birds flying. I love the timing of Espiritu's shot. Sometimes, taking great photos comes with luck. And boy, was he lucky. Not only did he bag the 50,000 pesos, he won a new Lenovo laptop and a trip to Lombok, Indonesia. Awesome. :-)

Sweet Treats

I got some sweet treats from one of the authors of the book that I am editing/layouting. It's a box of Carreon's Sweets & Pastries better known in Pampanga as the "Magalang Espesyal". A box contains an assorted of sweets and pastries including pastillas de leche, caramel, masapan de pili, empanaditas, and yemas. The bestseller among the products is the pastillas de leche which is made from 100% pure carabao’s milk. Yummy! Of course I didn't eat them all. Sharing them with friends is the best (or not). But really, I did share (a couple or more).

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HAPPY WEEKEND! :-)

settling, unsettling...most often than not it's UNsettling

"Between early morning and late afternoon, it's usually unsettling for me." ~ rtdc

It felt like ages since I made my last entry. But then again it was just five days ago. The thing is, I used to write (almost) everyday and mygulch has been my outlet-- a habit that I can not get out of my system.

Every morning, I already have this note in my head, what topic to write and how short and long it would be. The photo will just have to come along with what my mind says.

But given the workload I have right now, blogging is becoming a luxury for me. A vacant time that I have to justify every now and then because even my so called “free time” is not free anymore. But no, I am not complaining.

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I just finished layouting and editing the recipe book which is scheduled for launching on the first week of August and it feels like I could breathe now. I already sent it to the authors for the final proof. I just hope the corrections would just be minor.

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I was texting Charl last night asking how she was. I haven’t seen her since she came back to the country and it’s been more than a month already. She said her new business is keeping her busy these days. She has her own car now and she’s learning how to drive.

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My “new supervisor” is less uptight than the former. But I am still adjusting with this whole new set up. People have been calling me “ma’am” either as a joke or as an acknowledgement. I would like to think it’s the latter. Oki said, I should own my new position. I always think otherwise.

My thoughts on the matter?

I really don’t see this “new position” as an accomplishment rather an “unwieldy fardel” – you get more workload, more responsibility minus the monetary recompense. Most of all, I am not much into the limelight, I really like being on my nook all the time, delivering my output on certain deadlines. But with this new title, people come to my cube all the time, asking for my signature and my decision on certain things. It would take awhile before I get used to it. I know so.

And why is it that when everything seems calm and compliant, here comes a powerful surge that will leave you bewildered and defenseless?

…here comes the woter!

…and more!

I had the chance to visit tomato land in Sarrat, Ilocos Norte last week. We were toured around the processing plant and I was specifically in awe after seeing a truckload of tomatoes being unloaded into a water canal leading into a huge pool of tomatoes. I never seen a pool so huge and err, so red. Will post a series on this next time.

In the meantime, enjoy the rest of the Lenten Season!

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[postscript:]

Sorry for the (very) long title. I just have to include that one. :-)

I eat paper and drink ink for breakfast...still, nothing would come out of it

I have three speeches to write but I feel like an empty shell today. Nothing would come out right. Everything nonesense. Then, as I was looking at the ceiling and memorizing the corners of my cluttered cube, another writing assignment came. On the top right corner of the paper, it said: RUSH! Yeah, right.

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[postscript]

sabi niya: “Alam mo, special ka talaga.”
sabi ko: “Talaga?” (sabay pakyut)
sabi niya: Special child! (sabay ngisi)

I live for coffee and a mouthful of indigestible words for breakfast

Boring meetings, they could get you down to your deepest core. Thank god for coffee! I could have snored in the middle of the discussion. My boss is in Spain hoping to ride the night train to Germany and I was here, cowering in the midst of fireball and flurry.

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