In life, sometimes you just can't pick on the colors you like and wear it

That's because sometimes, the color that you like is not available or out-of-stock. My point is, although we were meant to believe that we do have a choice, the truth is sometimes (or most of the times), we don't.

In the photo: A young lady is picking a summer dress for my niece. I asked for pink, but they don't have it so I opted for the aqua blue.

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[random thoughts...]

The other day, a guy friend told me something that put me at the edge of my seat (figuratively). He was taking his usual drag that night and I noticed his sullen face. I asked him why he's been sad the past few days. Right then, he told me what's bothering him. I didn't even know that my observation was valid. I feel for him. He's been a nice friend and I hope everything turns out well for him. I wanted to reach out but I promised to keep every thing just between us. He's my male version--we like to keep things to ourselves. Letting other people think that we're okay even though we're rotten inside.

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The last few days, I have realized one thing and one thing only: EVERYONE is graduating except me! A friend of mine who's taking her Master's in Antwerp has just gotten her diploma recently, she'll be coming home next month and celebrate the good news with us. Another one from my friends just texted me last night that she passed her comprehensive exam in De La Salle and she will be graduating this coming March. Geezus.

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"I broke the silence and he broke my heart."

You clasp your hands, close your eyes and let your heart speaks

One thing I could clearly remember from my childhood is that I was a prayful kid. Influenced by a religious mother, praying was the first thing she ever taught me and my two siblings. I enjoyed praying when I was a kid, it was like talking to an invisible friend and he's grantings my wishes. Then I grew up. I had problems believing in the unknown. People whom I called authorities in the field started blocking my incurable quest to know and to question things. Blind faith was something I could not reckon with. Then came college and every thing was messed up. I was no longer that prayful kid and my mother called me an heretic, worst she called me a follower of Satan just because I refused going to church.

Later in life something happened along the way. And I started praying again...enjoying my quiet time. Sometimes, I think I have been praying too hard that I have been getting immediate answers.

Except for this one thing that I’ve been praying for (a long time). It seems to bounce off heaven’s door.

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[postscript]

* masyado ka lang bang makulit na ganoon na lamang niya pagbigyan ang kahilingan mo? O sadya ka lang malakas sa kanya?

* A close friend of mine gave birth to a baby boy yesterday morning. This is how she informed me via SMS: "Rayts, he came out na, this AM. healthy." As simple as that. This gave me a five-second smile. I got excited. Her dream of becoming a mom to a baby boy came true. We shared the same dream, mine I think is far from happening...at least not any time soon.

"UP is the only university in the country" ~ PNoy

That was according to Ninoy Aquino Jr. as recalled by his son, President Noynoy Aquino III, in his speech yesterday during the 100th Commencement Exercise of the University of the Philippines-Diliman. President Noynoy or PNoy as he is fondly called, a graduate of the Ateneo de Manila University, served as the keynote speaker during the graduation rites. Well, a non-UP graduate can always argue on that, but being a UP graduate myself, I guess I have to agree. =)

I was at the commencement exercise yesterday because a friend of mine, Miks, was one of the graduates. She earned her Masters in Technology Management. I am so happy and proud of what she has achieved in a matter of time. I envy her discipline and determination.

Crowd shot of the 4,000+ graduates in their sablay.

PNoy was the keynote speaker during the commencement exercise. UP Diliman awarded him the Doctor of Laws degree (honoris causa). With her in the photo is his sister, Aurora Corazon "Pinky" Aquino-Abellada.

The graduates giving the speaker an applaud and a standing ovation.

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I hope, wish, and pray that I will be able to wear my sablay next year! *crossing my fingers*

Sige na Lord! Malapit na ko ma-kickout sa college eh. hehe!

If only to see you...

... i will turn the moon so that we'll be seeing the same side. I will buy a time even for a peep.

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P.S.

I am currently engrossed in reading Ha Jin's work. "Waiting" is a breeze. It's a translated work but just like Murakami's books, the words flow so naturally into my senses. I don't feel like reading at all. It's like, he was reading it to me. =)

Healthy fear

There may be a natural, healthy kind of fear. But the kind of fear that I don't like and want not to obey is the fear that urges me to act contrary to my own feelings or to act before I know what my feelings are.

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[postscript:]

There are (more than) times that I have contradicted myself in doing something that my mind has been set NOT TO DO but because I have a heart that is (totally) incapable of sticking to reason, I have to bend back an earlier decision and follow this sudden swerve. Ah, when will I learn?

Look what I found from a heap of crumpled papers

Dax gave me the EPL book. And he sent it in a very creative Russian-doll-like-wrapping-kind-of way. A white big box; inside was a heap of crumpled papers from which I found a smaller box which, as you’ve guessed, was also full of crumpled papers and underneath was the book covered in onion skin. I kinda knew that Dax would give me the book simply because I asked him for it but what surprised me was how he packaged the gift. Interesting. If he’s done it to the girl he likes, that girl would probably be smitten.

Anyway, Dax was supposed to come with us to watch EPL a week ago but he said he has “a date” – a previous commitment, I should say. Anyway, I told him the company was great but the movie was awful. “You actually didn’t miss any thing, Dax!” But Miks said, I should have read the book first. “There are nice materials in the book that you’ll be able to appreciate only by reading it.” So I (kindly) asked Dax to give me a book as an early Christmas gift. He happily obliged which quite surprised me. Hehe. Dax is easy to sway and he has the tendency to spoil his friends—a nice thing to have if you are one of his so called “friends”. So that’s how I got the book from a heap of crumpled scratch. =)

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Miks, PC and I went to dinner last night at Pen-Pen in Tomas Morato. As we were passing by the lighted streets, I suddenly learned that Christmas is fast approaching. There were lights. Lotsa lights. When we finished our dinner, I asked them if we could walk the few miles before getting a cab home. As we were walking, a cold, wintry gush of air met us. Brrr. It was cold. Then I retorted: “I dread Christmas!” PC said: “Don’t say dread. It’s such a strong word.” Okay… I fear Christmas .

Sometimes the message is just in front of you!

I found this temporary stall beside Jollibee in Ilocos Norte selling shirts with interesting message printed on them.

English translation:

Life is like a wheel, sometimes your up sometimes in the vulcanizing shop·

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[postscript]

What do you call a person who intentionally pisses people off?

A douche bag.

This person is starting to annoy me, so much so that I just wanted to burry myself alive just to get away from him. But as the saying goes, “You can run, but you cannot hide.”

At 3:44 AM while I was snoozing my way to dreamland I was awakened by an annoying text from this person who’s mind has been greatly affected by his misconstrued notion of the truth. It’s a shame that some people have been gallantly feeding his paranoia that it is now the size of the map of Asia. Excuse the exaggeration but this guy has gotten way beyond being normal. Normal meaning rationale and considerate to other people’s feelings.

At 3:57 AM another one of his annoying, grudge-fest messages entered into my inbox. This time, he was accusing the girl as liar and in denial of her true feelings to this guy whom we know for certain is just a friend. The girl that this guy was accusing was my friend. To make the matter worst, the guy who’s been sending these annoying messages is also a friend. One of these days, I am planning to “erase” him in my life. Totally.

After his successive SMS, I wasn’t able to sleep. Everything went bad from the time I received his last message until the time I decided to got off the bed tired of looking lull at my room's ceiling.

My morning started from bad to being worst. Thanks to this guy.

Someone who keeps her words is worth all the respect

As I came to power peacefully, so shall I keep it. This is my contract with my people and my commitment to God.

~ Pres. Corazon Aquino~

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Early Saturday morning, the television has been bombarded with old footage of the People Power Revolution and the Pres. Cory's contributions to Philippine democracy. I was at the bus that day on my way to LB when I heard the news. She lost her battle to colon cancer and was announced dead at 3:18 am.

I was in elementary when the EDSA Revolution happened. My sister then was in a hospital for an operation, so that year was more than significant for our family. Our eyes were glued on the television watching a series of nonviolent and prayerful mass street demonstrations unfold. I kept asking my mother what was going on. Why the tanks, why the guns, why are the armies fighting. Cory's speech didn't matter that much. And because I was still a child, I couldn't care much how that particular event will affect me when I grow up.

Now that the footage is being played repeatedly over the last three days, I can't help comparing the country's situation then and now. We have the same woman president who supposed to be our salvation from the Estrada administration...but she, Pres. Arroyo, will never even come close to what Cory stands for. For one, Cory had always been true to her word. Something that we will never have from Mrs. Arroyo. No wonder, her people DO NOT respect her.