I didn't want my picture taken because I was going to cry. I didn't know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat and I'd cry for a week. I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a glass that is unsteady and too full.
~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar~
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[fragments of thoughts...]
... i got my passport renewed and it was delivered to me yesterday. i looked at it and got a little disappointed. my photo has (always) been a disappointment but it's more than that. it's a pathetic thought really.
... this morning, i have been thinking what is the English translation of pare. was it "brother"? in the same manner that Desmond calls Jack brother in Lost? "What's up brother?" well, this guy, he has been calling me p're for the last three years and it just amazes me how consistent he is. even in text he calls me p're. three years ago, i emailed him and called him p're and every since that day, he never stopped calling me p're.
... i miss my mother. i miss my niece. i miss LB. i miss our stinky dog.
... three weeks ago, i gave my mother a set of numbers for the lottery. i told her that it came to me in my dreams and it's crucial that she continuous to bet on it until my birthdate comes. she seems to believe me. my mother can be one of the most gullible persons in the world especially if it's me telling her stories and stuff (or at least that is what i believe). the other week, she told me she's running out of money to bet and said: Bibigay-bigay ka ng numero wala ka namang ibinibigay na pangtaya! (You're giving me numbers to bet on but you never gave me money to pay the bet!). And she said it with full conviction. I noticed her hair got curlier than ever.
... i got tons of work to do today but i opted to dilly-dally.
6 comments:
hahaha! natawa naman ako sa hirit ng nanay mo.
Crim
Wow, your thoughts really are fragmented. Isn't it nice being someone's sister? I had this girl, when I was in secondary school, that I used to call sister and she would call met brother. Everyone thought we had something going, but we were just good friends. After a while we had convinced most of crowd that we were bro' and sis. When one of the more intelligent specimens remarked that we did not have the same name, we convinced them that we had the same mother but a different father. Some people really look to be fooled.
Funny how the musings of someone else can bring back fond memories.
hahaha... kakatuwa naman nanay mo. dapat nga lang na magbbigay ka ng pantaya. lol...
@Crim: well, you've met my mother. you know how she is. i am glad i didn't get her temper, hehe.
@Peter: my thoughts are always fragmented. they come in go like flashes of little memories. he actually calls me "pare" (literally "bro")...he sees me as "one of the boys".
@Dong: unga eh. naisip ko naman kase pag nanalo ako, mas malaki balik sa kanya, hehe
Hehe. Katuwa naman ang nanay mo. Sana manalo manlang yang number na yan. Alagaan mo. hehe
Parang walang direct translation ang "pare" sa english, meron pa ngang isang word dito na "Pards" somewhat used as the same as pare.
Hope you fix your accommodations in KK
Sorry for being out of touch lately. I'm back home now and my sidekick is experiencing some hiccups.
Anyway, I like the photo; the dews are sharp and nicely taken!
[:
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