Friday, December 3, 2010

And then you smiled back like it’s the only thing that mattered

thank you for always smiling back

It’s difficult to compose a poem about you
Everything becomes obvious and yet insubstantial
Subliminal as it may seem, every thing goes back
To that one, fine day in the South—right after I shrugged
and brushed off your presence.



A Story He Once Told Me

It was a bestfriend-falling-as-lovers kind of thing. And it happened to me once. I had a besfriend, Irene and we were close. I fell for her at the moment when our love was no longer meant to be. At the time that I realized it, she was already committed to another man, her boyfriend.

There was a time when after transfering into a new house, Irene felt scared. She was sensing some spirits in the new house and asked her bf to accompany him for awhile. The bf was not available so as her loyal bestfriend, Irene asked me instead.

It was a moment of reckoning. We were both lying on the bed. Irene’s head was resting in my arm and she looked at me and said, “I love you”. Instinctively, I answered back and said: “I love you too”. It was the most natural thing to do. It’s like we’ve felt it coming and saying it was just a recognition of our feelings. But just like any sweet dream that turned sour, we felt awkward after that. We parted ways.

A few weeks ago, Irene texted me, inviting me to attend her wedding. I told her I could not commit because the nature of my work requires traveling (sometimes on a short notice). Irene said: “I would really be disappointed if you would not be able to come to my wedding.” I said: “I am sorry.”


After telling me that story, we had this conversation.

Him: Was I bad for not attending her wedding?

Me: Yes, because why wouldn't you attend? Unless, you still have feelings for her which, I think you still have. I guess I don't see any reason why you'll abstain yourself.

Him: You don't understand. It would be more complicated for me to be there.

Me: Why?

Him: Because a friend of ours told me, she's still in love with me.


I don't know what to feel. I wanted to confirm something but I am afraid I will be asking the wrong question and it would ruin everything.


Anonymous said...

poor u. u've been hearing so much of these kinds of stories. =)


Photo Cache said...

imho, with or without feelings, his presence is not required.

my gulch said...

crim: poor me. i've gotten used to it. unknowingly, he has this annoying habit of torturing people.
pc: well, unfortunately the bestfriend sort of requires him, hence the guilt (or was it?).

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