You're always looking out for her...making sure she's okay, making sure she's being cared for...even from a distance; exactly what I have been doing...always looking out for you.
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[postscript]
sabi niya: Isang libro lang ang value mo, di sapat para i-book launch.
sabi ko: Okay lang, hardbound naman at dahil nag-iisa, hard to find.
Does it?! Weh.
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[postscript:]
I talk because I feel, and I talk to you because I want you to know how I feel.
And my criticism informs you: You hurt my feelings a minute ago.
Our photog was taking a drag in a corner of a resto. I asked him to give me his longest puff while ready to click the shutter.
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Inside one of the corners of O!MyGulay, an art gallery and vegetarian resto in Baguio City—you’ll find this little glum spot. It has this undersized folding wooden table and two mismatched chairs complemented by a photo of the early Cordillerans on the left and an interpretation of “chalice of the dove” on the right. There seems to be some disparity on how all these eclectic interiors were arranged but I dunno, I love this particular spot. I don't think it's a favored spot among customers. Either they'll go to the veranda to enjoy the panoramic view of the city or find a table somewhere near the Spanish Galleon and be enamored by the indigenous gallery of artworks. But this particular spot is mine. I could not exactly tell you why but it reminds me of a lot of things. Myself for one—almost fitting but still irreconcilable. Parang yung comment ng isang friend ko sa akin:
"Medyo nage-gets ko yung sinabi mo pero malabo pa rin!"
Hmmm.
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While I wait for the others, I looked around and spotted this particular flower. Two flowers sharing a stem. How weird is that? Could be some genetic mutation or something. Afterall, the flower was located near one of the experimental stations that we've visited while we were in Baguio City.
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Proliferation of huge malls, congestion of population, and development of real state have waned Baguio’s appeal as the greenest mountain city of the north. For those who have known and seen Baguio 20 years ago and seeing how congested it is now with unsightly views of houses instead of trees on top of the mountains can be terribly disappointing. Back then, there were fewer cars, less houses and people, but with abundant pine trees to harmonize the simple and natural living of Baguio.
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It was nice to be noticed in a crowd even once in awhile (even though that was never part of the plan). But it got me curious. Why approach the obvious standoffish? Why not the "friendly ones"? Must I continue to lower my head every time you are around?
We are both stones in the wilderness. The only difference is that, you are a gem. Always the eye of the crowd (without even being aware of it).
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I will not be here for awhile.
When I come back, I hope my hair is shorter.
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Road to nothingness
It was a cold morning
I spotted a lone flower behind the pine tree
Like photo cache, I love fog (or at least the idea of it). I like the idea of walking on a long, narrow road with the fog coming to me. Being partly hidden, partly lost from your surroundings—it’s the most surreal feeling. The end of the road was zero visibility, but I walked anyway. And then I was happy not knowing what’s ahead.
It was just a fleeting moment of course. Slowly, the fog was gone and the road was all clear again.
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THE DRILL. PMA is the training school for future officers of the Armed Forces of the Philippines.
THE SALUTE. There's a rule of thumb for the salute and the "good morning" greeting. But I got the greeting every time they passed me by, which made me smile at all times.
A LADY IN UNIFORM. She looks pretty even with the short hair.
I was traversing through the manicured ground of the Philippine Military Academy (PMA) while enjoying the thick fog that was coming my way. The fog touched my face and felt the cool breeze. I stopped walking and suddenly found myself lost in the middle of oblivion.
While I was enjoying a fleeting moment of my solitude, my other two companions were exploring the area. My boss opted to stay in the car. She is a resident of Baguio City, after all.
I scouted the place for some photographic moments. I went to the Lopez Hall of Leaders, quite a new building that would probably attract any visitor because of the beautiful landscape. While taking photos of the flowers, a group of men and women came out of their classrooms, marching their way towards my direction. They look awesome in uniforms. And even with a military cap and a very short hair, I spotted a few female cadets marching with the men. Biologically speaking, there’s still quite a clear delineation of how a woman and a man marches. Nonetheless, they all look smart in their uniforms.
Although PMA was established in 1905, it was only in 1993 that it started accepting women in the Academy.
Located at Fort Gegorio del Pilar on Loakan Road, PMA is a favorite spot among tourists who visit the City of Pine. It has a museum, an exhibit of vintage tanks and other historical military weapons on the ground.
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[postscript]
some random thoughts...
...Oki and I met a long-time friend at starbucks. Oki had to leave early though. It was just me and the friend. we talked about her life and got surprised of how opened she was about it. somehow, without her realizing it, i got (so) enlightened by her experiences that i was left asking her all the time. asking like an innocent child. it occurred to me that most of my 'serious' conversations (often) happen either over a cup of coffee or a (tower) of beer. cheez.
...i wanted to start reading books again. but every time i pick a new title, it always ends up beside my bed (or under my pillow). it takes me at least a month or two before i finish one. sad.
...my chance of getting an MA degree this year is getting (more) hopeless (than ever). this morning, i had to cancel a subject because of a misunderstanding (or stupidity?). will there ever be a cure for stupidity? i told a colleague that i will try to finish my thesis this semester (or at least a draft of my manuscript). he smiled. i took it as a sign of sarcasm (which i always do). i never finish anything.
...i am liking the ellipses. you know the dot, dot, dot...not-finishing-a-sentence-kinda-thing.
...i invited this someone for coffee and what do i get as a reply? "i will send you a memo." is there any subtle word for "crushed"???
...i love Wong Kar Wai's latest flick, My Blueberry Nights, so much so that i wanted to watch it again and again.
STRAWBERRIES being sold at the Strawberry Farm. A box costs 200 pesos.
COLORFUL TAMBO (soft broom). How about dyeing my hair like that? Hmmm.
FLOWERS IN BLOOM. I spotted them in front of the new Lopez Hall of Leaders at the Philippine Military Academy (PMA).
I was in Baguio City last week. I was directed by my boss to cover a story in Pangasinan so we had to rush to this farm in Manaoag on a Tuesday morning. I had to finish the script the night before so we had something to work on for the video shoot. We finished the job early so we decided to pass by Baguio City first before heading back to Manila. We stayed there for two days. We went to the Strawberry Farm. There's not much strawberries this time of the year because they are not in season. A box costs 200 pesos and they are not even the best ones. We also made some sidetrips at the Philippine Military Academy (PMA), and Botanical Garden and Mine's View Park among others.
This week I will be coming back again to Baguio City for another assignment. :-(
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[postscript]
a moment ago, i was attending a meeting. i got bored. so bored i wanted to walkout in middle of a discussion. but i changed my mind. i need to be there. it's my lost if i walked out. so anyway, while ms. A and ms. E were discussing on the "issues of life" which i got bored listening to, i found myself writing a poem (which i haven't done in ages).
Blinded by colors
I came into this world
remembering nothing
– but a darkly lit room.
The night was solemn
but I didn’t know that.
Black was the first color I recognized
White was my last.
Then a yellow flick of light
cut into the night
creating shadows and funny shapes.
The glow quickly swayed
Playing and dancing
Slowly vanishing
as if someone deliberately blowed onto it.
Then there was darkness.
I felt home again.
-rtdc/011042008/darkcornerdenyingmyexistence
