Knowing where you need to go, that has always been the (basic) rule of the game

A man leads the early morning traffic along Macapagal Blvd. We are heading to the SM Mall of Asia for the biotechnology exhibit. This particular road looks great at night, especially during this time of the year. So many lights, suddenly this seemingly dull looking street becomes spectacular.

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[postscripts and randomness...]

I've been having a crazy schedule lately and my (awful) sleeping habit is making it worst. This afternoon, I was attending a planning workshop for info officers and I swore I could have just snoozed there in front of every one. Don't blame me. The topics were boring and the speakers were lulling me to sleep. Tomorrow, it's another "boring concert at the park"...strat plan in Tagaytay. geezus.

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Some guy who was supposed to be a friend of a former colleague at the office called me awhile ago to offer me a part time job. The guy works in a company somewhere in Ortigas. The words "part time job" and "good compensation" and "leadership potential" instantly brought a nice spellbounding interest into my ears. He said, this former colleague recommended me for the job. To cut the story short, I got interested and confirmed a sched for an interview. Little did I know that the job has something to do with "networking". Good thing I called back and asked him the details. At that instant, I backed out.

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what does it take to be called..."timang?" is it synanymous to being "stupid"?

i need a wiper to put myself to sleep...

i want that red Sanuk I spotted the other day at SM Mega...

i texted MB and counted how many minutes before he was able to answer back...average of 3-5 minutes. not bad.

i've been craving for Yellowcab's Dear Darla all day and i don't even like pizza to begin with.

And then you smiled back like it’s the only thing that mattered

It’s difficult to compose a poem about you
Everything becomes obvious and yet insubstantial
Subliminal as it may seem, every thing goes back
To that one, fine day in the South—right after I shrugged
and brushed off your presence.

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[postscript]

A Story He Once Told Me

It was a bestfriend-falling-as-lovers kind of thing. And it happened to me once. I had a besfriend, Irene and we were close. I fell for her at the moment when our love was no longer meant to be. At the time that I realized it, she was already committed to another man, her boyfriend.

There was a time when after transfering into a new house, Irene felt scared. She was sensing some spirits in the new house and asked her bf to accompany him for awhile. The bf was not available so as her loyal bestfriend, Irene asked me instead.

It was a moment of reckoning. We were both lying on the bed. Irene’s head was resting in my arm and she looked at me and said, “I love you”. Instinctively, I answered back and said: “I love you too”. It was the most natural thing to do. It’s like we’ve felt it coming and saying it was just a recognition of our feelings. But just like any sweet dream that turned sour, we felt awkward after that. We parted ways.

A few weeks ago, Irene texted me, inviting me to attend her wedding. I told her I could not commit because the nature of my work requires traveling (sometimes on a short notice). Irene said: “I would really be disappointed if you would not be able to come to my wedding.” I said: “I am sorry.”

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After telling me that story, we had this conversation.

Him: Was I bad for not attending her wedding?

Me: Yes, because why wouldn't you attend? Unless, you still have feelings for her which, I think you still have. I guess I don't see any reason why you'll abstain yourself.

Him: You don't understand. It would be more complicated for me to be there.

Me: Why?

Him: Because a friend of ours told me, she's still in love with me.

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I don't know what to feel. I wanted to confirm something but I am afraid I will be asking the wrong question and it would ruin everything.

To belong means not necessarily jumping into the bandwagon...

Yeng Constantino's kickers and Ginger Conejero's three inches heels.

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There are two kinds of women in this world, those who enjoy wearing high heels looking all modest and prim even though their feet are throbbing in pain; and there are those who wear flats looking all small, hasty and casual often drowned in a crowd full of these high-heeled women.

Who am I then?

I am the girl who wears a dress over a pair of Chuck and enters a room of women in their modest looking high-heeled shoes.

One is memerized and the other is stunned

Aljur is mesmerized by her while singing "Nandito Ako".

Kris looking stunned but still manages to give a sheepish smile.

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I was at the WTC in Pasay City last weekend covering a DA event called the O!MayGulay Cooking Contest. This is their third year and the last one I believe since Agri Secretary Arthur Yap will be stepping down his office to run for a local political position in Bohol (or so I think). Our office is not the organizer but we worked with them on a collaborative effort on this particular activity.

So anyway, I was there to take photos, which I did. And as expected, there were celebrities. I am not much into the Kapuso artists as I do not know most of them but looking at the crowd's reactions as this particular loveteam is being introduced, I can't help but be in great awe. I told to myself, "Wow, they must be that popular!"

I click the shutter every chance I get. Trying to get the best angles. Afterall, I was one of the few photographers that the organizers allowed to go front and back the stage so it's only proper that I get every best opportunity possible.

By the end of the program, I was so exhausted that all I wanted was to get out of the place. Enough celebrities for the day.

Painful drops

I know I’ve told you how I love the “rain”.

Just because it makes the surrounding quite refreshing and subdue; the grass greener than ever and the air, cooler. But experiencing a tropical storm or a typhoon for that matter is another thing.

I am shying away from the television these days. The images of the Ondoy aftermath are just disheartening. I knew people who lost their homes because of this terrible natural disaster. There was not much of wind…but a whole-day pouring of huge, painful drops of rain that never seemed to end. That’s how it was.

Now, Metro Manila is like a vast Mekong Delta River minus the huge, cargo ships...

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[Sidestory]
(one which I should have posted some weeks ago....)

I have this friend who wanted that I go out and meet “people” so that I could “widen my horizon” for other prospects. She said that my biological clock could be running out and that given my innate love for children and my plan to have at (least) a kid (preferably a boy) soon…she said, I am such a sluggish moron for not taking this “destiny bullshit” into the next level.

The word “thirty-ish” can be an upsetting resound for singles. Yes, definitely. But not if most of your friends are single too and who are seem to be enjoying their time. Oh well, that is what I thought too. As the great A used to tell me... "everything comes with a good end. you just have to know how to explain it to yourself!"

And then I met this “new friend” a week ago. She’s my age but she’s engaged to be married this month. Hell yea. I find her really pretty and so sure of herself. She has a beautiful face coupled with an amazing wit. In short, she’s both beauty and brain. She met her fiance through Friendster, who she knew through a friend's friend.

While we were inside the car and trying to pass by the horrendous traffic in EDSA, surprisingly, she turned her head to me and asked: “How about you Rayts, how many boyfriends have you had?”

I nearly fell on my seat. I wasn't surprised by the question, but the attention. There were five of us in the car and all of them were waiting for my answer. A few minutes passed and wished that someone kidnapped me from the car. (Nak ng teteng. Bakit naman ako ang napagdiskitahan ng mga ‘to!). I thought that the question was rather off and wanted to paraphrase it. But instead I said: “Jesus, I need to pee!”

I guess they knew what my answer was. or Not?

Kissing

I had fun taking this photo at a children's party. I don't know who thought of this game but the kids need to kiss their partners for a few seconds in order to get the pot money. It turned out that some of the participants are both boys.

This image was taken using my old (and still very reliable) Nikon F55 35mm SLR. The image was scanned from the printed image.

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I wish you all...

the best of the holidays!!!

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Trick or Treat

This might be a little too late for my "supposed to be" Halloween post but who cares?

I saw a bunch of these witches on-display while covering an event at WTC in Pasay City. They're the coolest witches I've ever seen. They look rather "friendly" to me. I got caught up taking photos of these well-adorned dolls with all their huge noses, warts and pointed hats. The colors and the theme of each witch came in all sorts of variety. A witch who looks like a genius, a voracious reader, and a fashionita among others. Among these witches, I like the blue-eyed, Cher-look-alike witch. I woould have chosen the reading witch but I got caught up with this particular witch so much so that I asked one of my colleagues to take our photo. :-)

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Do not, I beg you, look for anything behind phenomena

i prayed for something to happen that day. something that would break me from my routine. my way of nudging destiny and telling "hey i still exist you know! give me some boost."

i walk under the scorching heat of the sun with a humungous backpack restraining me from breathing properly. i just endured a two-hour ride of nothing but heat in a supposed to be air-conditioned bus. i was dropped off at the MRT station, definitely not my way. i had to walk the long causeway just to get where i needed to be, only to find out that i got the wrong place.

while walking the causeway, i saw her (photo above)-- a lady covered in black, sitting at the side of the busy street of Ortigas. Her arm stretched out, her head all bowed down to the ground under the beating heat of the sun, she was begging. i guess like me, she was begging destiny for some change to happen.

i rode a taxi and met my worst nightmare: a pervert driver who talked about the Virgin Mary and her miraculous works and segue into his (the driver's) sex life. such an oddball. i paid for my fare while summoning all my strength to get away. still, somewhere between my will and determination to get away, he gave me an advice: "never go to a motel with your boyfriend because something might happen".

i found the place. i found what i was looking for. but i was bothered the whole day. destiny nudged me back saying: "did i break your routine hard enough?"

32nd Milo Marathon: Always Aim for the Finish Line

My MILO bib number

10K runners reaching the finish line

Media people giving their 'friendliest' poses. :-)

Alas, the finish line!

It was raining cats and dogs that early morning. Some of us had second thoughts of coming. With such heavy downpour and cool weather, I could trade anything for at least an hour more of sleep. But alas, my phone alarmed like hell. We rushed at the Quirino Grandstand as fast as we could still with the heavy downpour. The 42K runners started onto their route already.

I’ve never seen so many “green people” in one place—runners in their famous Milo green outfit!

Alex, Eric, and I participated in the 10k event while Rueth, May and Mace joined the 5k runners. After the gun was fired, the ‘green people’ rushed their way into the course under the heavy rain. Everyone was shouting. We were all happy just the same. It's fun running under the rain.

So why is the 32nd Milo Marathon worthy of remembering?

…I’ve been joining running events for awhile but this is my first participation in the Milo marathon, the longest and most prestigious running event in the Philippines.
…It was my first time to run under the heavy rain for 1 hour and 9 minutes, afterwhich my feet were all wrinkled and tender.
…I ran following the rhythm of a squishing sound of my soaked rubber shoes, which I really find funny.
…I realized how refreshing it was to run under a heavy downpour. Speaking of romanticizing the rain.
…I’ve never felt this good staring at the Finish Line.
…I just love being with these hardcore runners who were never seem to mind a bad weather.

Thank you for robbing our dignity, our unity, and our future...

My critics say this is fiction, along with other facts and figures I cite today.

I call it heroism though they don’t need our praise.

Each is already a hero to those who matter most, their families.

~ President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo~

At 3pm yesterday, our EA sent us a work suspension notice due to President Arroyo's State of the Nation Address (SONA). Tell you frankly, I get bored listening to SONAs (or any political speech for that matter, although my work entails me to do just that, which is ironic). But yesterday, I conditioned myself to sit tight on my comfty chair, pour myself a mug of coffee while listening to an hour of sugar-coating, well rehearsed speech of a woman that most Filipinos probably love to hate these days.

As expected, I get nothing from listening to it. Promises, promises, and more sugar-coating—I am just re-echoing most Filipinos’ sentiments these days. I don't know about optimism and giving the benefits of the doubt but we have been bombarded by promises long enough that pompous statistics and figures wouldn't fool us anymore. For one, what she said in her last SONA's was far worst than what she promised.

I guess we all know what the problem is. It’s just that our beloved President refuse to see.

My favorite phrase for today: Lack of self-referentiality!

And that is what you are Madam President.

Sometimes, it’s good to look around and know why you are the most “unpopular president” in the history of this country. Just take a look around and maybe, just maybe, you’ll know what you’ve been missing for the last 7 years of your reign.

2010 seems a century a away before we get a new one!

WOMEN's Month is all about us...

...and that every time someone tries to let me down I listen to this Billy Joel's classic.

She can lead you to live
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
She steals like a thief
But she's always a woman to me

...and that every time someone says I cannot do it, I say this to myself:

To tell a woman everything she may not do is to tell her what she can do!

...and whenever someone asks, "How good does a female athlete have to be before we just call her an athlete?"

I run, run, and run...until I feel like (almost) dying and coming back to life!

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Yesterday, me and some of my girlfriends participated in the "Pinay in Action" at the NBC Tent, The Fort. This is a running event specially made for women and women who love to run!

But this is not just about running. This event was made to honor the importance of women in our lives! A perfect way for everyone to celebrate the strength and spirit of womanhood.

What could be a better way of celebrating the International Women’s Month than having to see a huge group of strong, fine-looking, determined, and vibrant women gathered in one place to race and to have fun!

Ellaine and I joined the 10k run. This is Ellaine's first 10k run and my 6th event. Some of my friends from the office (Etch, Deb, Rueth, and Mace) and from school (Wennie and Haids) also did their 5k event. Some of them had their first taste of a real running event and they loved it and finished it. Two of my running mates, Alex and Eric were also present during the event to provide support.

Since I was running the race, Alex was good enough to take most of the photos. Meanwhile, Eric joined Ellaine in her 10k run as I was (so) determined to beat my previous running record, which I did. I ran the 10k for 1:00 beating my previous Rundezvous record at 1:03. Yey!

Starting the 10k run with Senator Pia Cayetano (with the pink cap) at the starting line. Photo by Alex.

Women all powered up to start the race! The woman on the left with her arms open wide and in pink suit is society figure and newspaper columnist, Tessa Prieto-Valdes. I always see her in this category. Photo by Alex.

Competitive women on the go! Love this shot. Again, photo by Alex.

Women showing off their "Pinay in Action"shirts and their...err, running legs. Just lovely. Photo by Alex. (He is loving his job!)

I took this after my race event. One of the 5k runner beating the time. I just love how she pushes herself to the limit. Go girl!

Participants of the Girlfriends' Run (1.6k event). Love the way they hold hands.

Probably a mom finishing the 1.6k race with her kiddies. Go, go, go!

Even those that cannot walk yet joined in the event. Go mommies!

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To my fellow women bloggers...cheers!

Teresa
Crim
Toe
Luthien
Lies
Kyels
Ate Gina
Cathy
Sel
Angela
Izzy
Tracy

HAPPY WOMEN's MONTH to us!!!

Girls clad in their school uniforms

I suddenly miss my high school days. I had my fun times then. Studying in a school ran by Catholic nuns and priests is no way to spoil the fun. But even then, I wasn't that much of a social type (or was I?). My 'closest' friends are often limited to 2-3 people. Often times, I have two closest friends. Three is a crowd I know. But the advantage is that, when one gets upset you'll have another to count on. But when they fight, I get easily caught up in the middle (which happens a lot).

They always come in THREE. Students from Florentino Torres High School register their names.

They always like to sit together. They have glued themselves together that they come in unison even when they laugh and applaud with the crowd. Even the lengths of their hair are in harmony.

Whatever the case, they like smiling for the camera. Yea, even when she's holding two pieces of carrots in her hands. Gotta love those smiles.

A pretty jeune fille. Guess who's face I am aiming for?

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I have been updating my other photoblog (aminus3 account) which has been on a hiatus for the last three months. It has come to my attention that I need to update it (before the admin totally get rid of it). And since I've got a handful of photos to post, I said why not. I know I have already a handful of (photo) blogs to update but then, this is one of my (annoying) habbits that I just can't get out of my system--starting something and forgetting about it. Anyway, the aminus3 account is mostly photos. You'll be spared with the long, nonsensical blabbers.

It's a book fair!

The country’s biggest, prestigious, and most anticipated book event is here once again, the 28th Manila International Book Fair. The event runs from August 29 to September 2 at the World Trade Center, Pasay City. It opens from 10 am to 8pm.

It features 300+ local and foreign exhibitors with thousands of book titles, the most number in any book exhibition ever held in the country.

Of course, two of the country's largest bookstore chains-- Powerbooks and National Bookstore (NBS), participated in the event, also the most highlighted with their huge booths which are simply hard to miss. Talking about the colors yellow-blue and red.

Also featured is the ASEAN Book Publishers Association with books from member-countries like the Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Laos, Bruenei, and Indonesia.

PSICOM Publishing Inc. invited us to attend the book fair for the launching and signing of our book, Sopas Muna (a collection of inspirational stories) along with the other titles which they recently released in the market, including: the best-seller book Wanda Ilusyunada (first gay lingo literature), Haunted Campus (horror), and comic books such--Topak, Torbik and Co., and Chopsticks.

Bebang, one of the authors of Sopas Muna, strikes a pose. And as we say it, a day is never complete without reading a piece of your daily pop lit. Grab a copy now. The book is (so) affordable. I am not advertising here, am I? ;-)

"Hi, just call me Rayts!"

I conducted a one-day lecture on Creative Nonfiction at SPi last Saturday. Participants came from Cavite and Tagaytay, consisting of elementary school teachers/journalism advisers, a HS English teacher (who gave up her Master's class for the workshop), and some wacky and quick-witted SPi employees (Mahros, Doc Janet, Dylan, Jaypee) who seem to empathize with every author and book I gave as an example.

I was a bit anxious when Bebang first told me about this lecture. I've been to SPi before during one of the Writers' Guild events (poetry reading, books discussion, book launching, etc.) and I felt estranged by the surroundings and the people (like everyone does when he/she goes to a new place). I've done lecture on this topic before but to high school students. I have long and engaging respects for teachers, and I've got awkward relationship with my English teachers before, so the "anxiety" was to be expected.

So anyway, I was there 15 minutes before the scheduled lecture (9am-4pm), thanks to Jaypee, one of the Writers' Guild officers, who fetched me from my place in Quezon City to Paranaque. I was sittting with the participants, trying to observe without being known. Some of the latecomers were entering, looking around the place, they don't seem to notice me. I sat among a group who has the same age bracket as my mother. Jaypee asked me about the handouts for photocopying. One of the participants, an elementary teacher, took the hint and asked me if I am the lecturer for the day. I gave her a wry smile and instead of affirming her suspicion, I snooped.

When the time to introduce myself came, I stood in front of the 30+ attendees and confirmed their bemusement.

"Hello people! I can only think of two things to say about your expectations, either you're disappointed, because you expected someone older or you guys are simply overwhelmed that I am here." (Note: I was wearing a tweed and in my Chucks).

During the workshop, I asked them to write a one-page personnal essay on any topic they could think of and promised to choose my top 5 before the session ends. I got a bunchful of laugh while reading their essays. One of them came up with an ingenious title, "Voraytscious!" --> a play up word for rayts being a voracious reader. The essay is obviously about the workshop and their unexpected lecturer...

Likewise, reading the essays confirmed my previous anxiety, they never expected someone like me to handle the class. One of them was candid enough to write that she expected for a lecturer "an old guy, wearing a coat and tie, very professor-like". I was laughing at the corner, looking like a fool.

The lecture ended well. I love the honesty of these people. I guess the circumstance sided my way. They'll be conducting a seminar-workshop on personal essay soon, with Jessica Zafra handling the class. I asked to be invited as one of the participants. ;-)

It does rain in some parts of the country

This time around it should be raining. Raining hard. Because it's supposed to be the rainy season. But then again, the weather has become erractic in most cases. In some parts of the country it's raining but in Quezon City, most of the time it's not.

This weekend, I went to Taft and took the bus ride home from there, when a few minutes after the bus left the terminal, the rain poured. Wah, I loved it. :-) Water was splashing through the bus window. The guy in front of me was sound asleep. His head was stooping down the glass window. When we reached the Luzon Expressway, the weather was hot as hell. Oh well.

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I finally had the time to go and see Ocean's 13. I don't know what to expect. I loved the first 2 sequels that is why I was really hoping to see what Sodenbergh is up to this time. But after I've seen Spiderman 3, Shrek 3, and Pirates of the Carribean 3...I was really hoping for the worst this time. But then again, it was good to know that after I went out of the cinema, I was still smiling even on my way down to the escalator. So much so that, I treated myself to 2 pieces of Breadtalk. Man, George Clooney is really smokin'!!!. My eyes were seriously glued when he's on the screen. Shoot.

Hanji, and my inability to destruct the "indestructible"...

The term HANJI comes from two words: han = Korea and ji = paper. So in essence, hanji is a Korean handmade paper which is traditionally made from the bark of mulberry tree.

This piece is titled, "Fallen Leaves" and I fell in love with it. Although I must admit that the "too much" tilting of the head of the two girls makes them look like a loony.

Love this one too! The showing of the stomach when you're full. I don't know if it's all Asian thing but I do that a lot. Talking about propriety and table manners :-)

I just love looking at these three girls that's all. I am more like the girl standing on the left. Ha!

This is titled, "World Cup"...can't think of anything better than that. These little fella looked like they won the cup. Ladies and gentlemen, the Asians beat the crap out of the Europeans!

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Still part of the World Expo Light Exhibit. The Hanji-Made Dolly Exhibition was the most enjoyable for me. It's like looking at the little pieces of what it's like in Korea, being Korean, what it's like and all that other stuff. I asked the guy who was in charge of the exhibit if Hyong-Suk Lee personally went to the Philippines for this exhibit of hers and the guy told me an astounding "yes". He said that Ms. Lee made all the arranging of the dolls too.

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Oki, left this morning for her trip to Lanao. She must have been so quiet and careful that I never did notice that she's gone. But then again, I slept really late last night.

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I don't know if you're still reading this blog. But I wrote this today for you:

everyday, we're loosing a piece of our memory
not knowing where we left it, not knowing
exactly, locating it. But every minute
a new memory re-grows like our 50 firsts.

-it helps that the world is colored
i never seem to forget such wholeness
its color, length, content. All intact.

- happy birthday, crackhead! :-)
(I hope China is not making you so melancholic. Nostalgia is much a better word)

...and then there were lights, and there was i looking up, foolishly smiling like a child waiting for a star to fall on her palm.

Can you imagine this horde of lights? It was like being inside a psychedelic dream.

It's all made of Chinese ceramics, from its head down to its loopy tail.

Japanese lanterns. My favorite of all time. They're like tomatoes, dancing in the sky.

What more can you ask for? Here comes my pale moon!

We were invited to attend a poetry reading cum book launching cum meeting and sharing with a writers' club somewhere in Parañque. B, being the president of LIRA, was there for a poetry performance and we (me and two more of my friends) were there to promote our very "pop-ish trying hard to be socialy relevant-ish book". I get this high-octane dreams when I am in front of a public. I can't do performance poetry...never as good and as confident as Ms. B. I stutter more than I should. Although I could pretend and pull it sometimes. But then again, the thought of stuttering is always in the mind.

So anyway, we decided to pass by the World Light Expo 2007. And walah, my high-octane dream continued. You have to undertstand that firefly alone fascinates me...what's more a horde of lights.

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The 5-day holiday was great. I finished Gaiman's Anansi Boys. I feast on a handful of movies for days which I've been meaning to watch. I was able to hang-out with friends for a whole day talking about the most "unsensical" stuff in the world including wearing a red garment and a psycho killer that kills whenever he sees red. Most of all...I was able to think and write. How was that for a not so perky holiday?