I was singing it to you

This morning, RX played my song. Out of nowhere, it played MeLee's Can't Hold On.

Someone cries and it washes the street with tears

But when they are mine, they collect in my head for years

Rain or shine, still I'm standing on all I said

'Cause it's in my soul, carry on when the feeling's dead

Someone dies late at night and I never know
And even if I did, so afraid of the face I'd show
I feel trapped and enslaved to this dark contrast
Need a feeling now, give me something that's going to last

Geezus, this song can make me cry at an instant. There's that air of sadness in Cris Cron's voice that gets me every time I hear him sing. A feeling of grief that is way beyond explaining.

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[random thoughts...]

...i watched Thor with friends, but i felt so alone. i don't understand.

...i want to watch Angel Locsin's ITNOL (maybe later)

...i saw MB the other day. the time was weird because we didn't expect to see each other there. and it was weirder because i just waved and did not even bother approaching or talking to him. crazy deed.

...i miss Oki and her contagious laugh. wala ng malulutong na tawa sa bahay. =(

...i need good vibes! I've been getting bad ones the last few days.

...i miss Fiona, i miss my family =(

...i've accomplished a lot these week, but i feel empty as if they were not enough.

...i wanted to get out. soon.

...been haggling my case to HIM. I hope HE'd grant me my wish.

...he said this to me once: "I need some time away from you."

There are those that you’d rather admire from a distance…

… mainly because it’s good for them, to remain unconscious and untouched. You want them to stay as they are, unknown of your existence.

About the Photo:

The sunflowers in UP Diliman are in bloom now. I was able to take photos during Miks' graduation. Flower power. Sunflower is one of my favorite subjects...there are just so many angles to explore. :-)

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{Random notes}

* After months of neglect and dilly-dally, I was able to finish Ha Jin’s Waiting. I am starting with a new book, Tim Lott’s White City Blue and so far, it’s quite interesting. I hope it won’t take me months before I finished it. Anyhow, I was amused after reading these lines:

“I know now that life is a habit, more or less. You do something, then you do it again, then again, and before you know it, that’s what you are, and that’s who you are, and you can’t imagine being anything or anyone else.”

* I have tasted the best cheesecake yesterday. It’s from Gumbo’s. The best part of course is that, I was sharing it with my favorite people.

* I gave K a bag of books yesterday and I was happy. It really feels good finding someone who has a huge appetite for reading books. And she’s just what, 11 or 12 years old? She said, her mom is also a voracious reader. I knew for a fact that her mom and I have exactly the same taste for music. And that she likes horses.

* It’s nice that I could talk to K with a little ease now. Even though she’s a little girl, I always feel like I am talking to someone my age (or perhaps more mature than me).

* K knows quite a bit about me. And I was quite a bit surprise. She knows I am a coffee addict. She knows I love books. She knows I love eating chicken. She knows I am awful when it comes to direction and she teases me about it. The other day, I told her that I love the smell of new books and that I smell them first before buying them. She finds it weird but she let me smell her new book.

* My mind tells me, I badly need some diversion. Sleeping (very) late is slowly taking over my body. I usually feel (really) weak and sleepy during the day. One time, he asked the condition of my sleeping problem and I told him, it's the same. I couldn't tell him that, partly...he was the reason I couldn't put myself to sleep. What a bummer!

* It's Holy Week...and I plan on working. There's just so much to do. =(

"UP is the only university in the country" ~ PNoy

That was according to Ninoy Aquino Jr. as recalled by his son, President Noynoy Aquino III, in his speech yesterday during the 100th Commencement Exercise of the University of the Philippines-Diliman. President Noynoy or PNoy as he is fondly called, a graduate of the Ateneo de Manila University, served as the keynote speaker during the graduation rites. Well, a non-UP graduate can always argue on that, but being a UP graduate myself, I guess I have to agree. =)

I was at the commencement exercise yesterday because a friend of mine, Miks, was one of the graduates. She earned her Masters in Technology Management. I am so happy and proud of what she has achieved in a matter of time. I envy her discipline and determination.

Crowd shot of the 4,000+ graduates in their sablay.

PNoy was the keynote speaker during the commencement exercise. UP Diliman awarded him the Doctor of Laws degree (honoris causa). With her in the photo is his sister, Aurora Corazon "Pinky" Aquino-Abellada.

The graduates giving the speaker an applaud and a standing ovation.

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I hope, wish, and pray that I will be able to wear my sablay next year! *crossing my fingers*

Sige na Lord! Malapit na ko ma-kickout sa college eh. hehe!

Dreaming of sunflowers

I had a dream last night and it was all about sunflowers.

I ran through a quick literature search on the net and found this:

"To see a sunflower in your dream, symbolizes warmth, abundance, longevity, and prosperity. The sunflower also serves to point you in the right direction and is a source of spiritual guidance. Even through difficult times, you will persevere. Alternatively, the sunflower may denote haughtiness. You may be deceived by the false appearance of others. "

I would not know really but before this day ended, I found some sunshine of truthfulness in these words: "height of achievement".

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[postscript:]

A lot of things have been happening to me lately (or at least, the last few weeks). So much so that this blog could not even catch up with these "little achievements" I've been earning (ha! ang yabang ko!). Of course these "little achievements" would not come without any downside to go along with them but everything seems manageable (or so I think). Achievements and distraught pretty much complement my life. Yea, I am a walking contradiction, you might say.

My workload is a heavy shit to bear. But the weather is on my side. I've been loving the effect. And my caffeine intake is getting worst than usual.

***

I was happy to know that my brother had passed the Chief Mate Licencure Exam. We had a fight a few days before due to some unnecessary remarks. I called him a few minutes ago and congratulated him. He was happy and he was thankful that I called. I was happy too. My brother and I, we are not that close, but I love him to death. :-)

Sunflower season

Sunflowers are not native to the Philippines but it can thrive in its soil and agro-climatic condition. These giant sun-loving flowers can grow up to 12 feet with head up to 3 inches wide. The common and recommended variety of sunflower in the Philippines is the hybrid type, which grows up to 105 days after planting. That was according to an expert who I have interviewed for an article that was assigned to me.

Anyway, I took interest in sunflowers when I first saw a line of them upon entering the UP Diliman campus one time. They have the University Avenue beautified in time for the commencement exercises which usually happens in April. There are no sunflowers yet today, but we have some in front of our office. I let my eyes feast on them whenever I have the chance. I find it therapeutic looking at them. Really.

I am not really a fan of flowers. But I like sunflowers. I am addicted to their smell, which is as bad as not liking flowers all together. I like looking at their big heads. When you think about it, they are not really that awesome of a flower, well compared to roses or tulips but well, their size amazes me.

I admire them for being yellow and eye-catching. Also, sunflower is a classic example of heliotropism, an involuntary response of plant to the sun. It turns its head directly to face the sun and reorients overnight to wait for the rising of the sunrise. So, early dawn, looking at them in a vast area of a sunflower field, they look all drooped and weak. Now, that is really something to admire for.

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Like a tree with no leaves, you are like a song with no words

What good is the wind if there are no leaves on the trees.

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Happy 100 years UP!

I will momentarily cut my travel posts to give way to this one big, joyous event which happened recently...

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I went to UP Diliman to witness and document the University of the Philippines (UP) System Centennial Launching on 8 January 2007. You heard it right, UP turns 100 years this 2008. This early, the celebration kicked off with a huge motorcade which started in UP Manila (campus was first established here in 1908) and proceeded to UP Diliman, the main campus). Joining the convoys were motorcades from UP Baguio, UP Pampanga, and UP Los Baños.

The iconic UP Oblation with stunning fireworks at the back. This image was used as the backdrop at the Amphitheater, which served as the stage for the free concert.

Front of the Quezon Hall where the opening program and the lighting of cauldron was held. At the back is the UP Amphitheater where the free concert was held.

Around 4pm after the contingents converged at the main campus, a series of activities was held participated in by students and alumni from the different units of the UP system from across the country. I wasn’t able to watch the opening program. I arrived at the campus when UP President Emerlinda Roman was delivering her speech, explaining the centennial logo and the lighting of cauldron.

I wasn’t able to witness the lighting of the 100 torches which was relayed around the academic oval and the lighting of torch by the 100-year old UP alumnus, which is a shame really, but I did watch the free concert held at the UP Amphitheater featuring internationally acclaimed UP alumni, like the Philippine Madrigal Singers, Ryan Cayabyab, the UP Symphonic Orchestra, and UP Symphonic Band to name a few.

The stage for the evening. I was simply amazed by how the lightings were made. The lighting changes shapes and colors every now and then depending on the performances.

Contingent from UPLB campus participated in the free concert, one of which is a dance performance. Stunning ! ;-)

When I got there, I was intimidated by the huge crowd. How and where do I set-up my tripod? That was the first thing that came to my mind. I have expected the huge number of people but with my camera and my tripod with me, I had some problems getting through the crowd. Bringing my equipment came in handy though, as I was able to get through my way to the front very easy. No one told me to stay put. This happened too during the UP Lantern Parade wherein I was able to easily position myself with the press.

One of the highlights of the evening is the performance from the UP Pep Squad, the 2007 UAAP Cheerdance Competition Champion.

Amazing stunts!

The crowd is mesmerized by the performance of Master Ryan Cayabyab (as seen on the big screen).

The organizer set-up two huge screens on both side of the Amphitheater for the people at the far end of the stage. I chose to set-up my gadgets at the left side of the screen, facing the stage. But it didn’t prove to be that conducive since most of the performances were done on the second floor of the Quezon Hall. The stage that was set-up in front of the Amphitheater was used on few instances only (those requiring enough space).

Nonetheless, I was able to watch the UP Pep Squad’s performances with so much ease. And I was with them at the time they were preparing for their performance, a good chance to take close-up shots.

The evening concluded with a grand fireworks display.

Amazing fireworks display courtesy of the UP Beta Epsilon.

Happy 100 years UP!

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I will join the 10 km marathon this weekend. I hope I will improve my time record. Really, really hope so. Happy weekend everyone!!!

UP Lantern Parade

It's really the moon that excites me.

In front of the University of the Philippines (Quezon Hall) where the oblation is situated. The "Pasko 2007" changes colors from yellow to green to red. Pasko means 'Christmas' in Tagalog.

Honoring Filipino national artist Cesar Legaspi, who pioneered neo-realism, these lanterns are paraded before a huge crowd during the traditional lantern parade.

The crowd gathers at the back of the Quezon Hall for the annual lantern parade.

Yey, fireworks!

Fireworks courtesy of the College of Engineering.

Kiddies loving the show.

I am way through college life, but quite frankly, I still anctipate going to the university's annual events such as the Oblation run (members of the Alpha Phi Omega fraternity do the 'streaking' to protest their sentiments about the current political/economic situation), the Faculty Follies (teachers and professors roll up their sleeves and let down their hair to perform on stage) and of course, the traditional Lantern Parade.

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The LANTERN PARADE is a colorful UP tradition that has enlivened the holiday season in the University for 70 years now. The Lantern Parade was first held in 1922 but it was only 12 years later that the celebration was formally established by UP President Jorge Bocobo as what it is now: the display of colorful floats, lanterns, and costumed performances. It has since become a spectacular venue for creative expression among the different members of the UP community and a fitting way to end classes for Christmas.

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Most of the time, I miss the Oblation run and the Faculty follies, but I try to see the lantern parade whenever I get the chance. This year, I went to see it.

The crowd was thick as usual. Onlookers and spectators always expect the best from the College of Fine Arts since they usually highlight this yearly festivity. I had fun watching the fireworks. Yipeee!

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Happy New Year, everyone!!!

Post it and leave it...

I am looking and searching not knowing what exactly I was looking for. Then I looked up and read the post: "Rooms for Rent". It was all poetic, what's inside this head. And you'll never figure it out unless you've seen me first.

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My Nikon D80 was delivered last week but I just set-it up last night. I am just finishing up some photos which I haven't posted here. I will go down to business once the rain stops and the weather's good for taking photos. This typhoon we're having is as predictable as it can be. It's all wind today, no rain.

I've seen Peter's photos courtesy of his new Canon 5D and I can't help but enjoy his shots and be amazed. He's making into reality what I have just theorized in mind, which is likely the case when you just read the specs from reviews and websites.

hoping for the bells to ring again...

The Carillon, University of the Philippines (UP), Diliman, Quezon City

“Like the oblation, the UP Carillon is an iconic monument that symbolizes what the university means to alumni, students and visitors. The campus landmark evokes varied memories or associations for everyone.”

there were bells on a hill
but i never heard them ringing
no i never heard them at all
till there was you....

It was in the early 50s that the Carillon Project was undertaken by the University of the Philippines Alumni Association (UPAA), right after the University campus was moved to Diliman in 1948. The bells in the tower were installed and played first by Belgian carilloneur. Likewise, the UP Newsletter was officially called Carillon, published on a regular basis.

Now, years after, the Carillon becomes “an unlikely ghost of a glorious past.” Maintenance has never been good that the carillon bells and apparatus are now deteriorated and the tower itself looks grimy and weather-beaten. But the good thing is, there’s an effort to restore this iconic structure through, “The Bells of Diliman” project. This is of course in time for the University's 2008 Centennial Celebration. The project has two main objectives: to restore the campanile, its tower and surroundings; and to institutionalize the Carillon's operation and maintenance.

I hope to hear them ringing soon! ;-)

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Most of the info were taken from "Save the UP Carillon" by columnist, Elmer A Ordoñez of the Manila Times's The Other View, published Dec. 2006.

Waiting for the coconuts to fall?

Let your thoughts meander towards a sea of ideas.
Then you wait for the coconuts to fall... :-)

He's name is Ricardo. But he prefers to be called Richard as his nick (he thinks Ricardo sounds too serious). He is the office's desiganted photographer. But I often takes the job from him. He used to mind it a lot and whine to my boss (and to us) how sooner or later he'll lose his job because I keep "getting all the exposures" (all pun intended). But he's all okay with it now. I made him understand that I can't just write the articles, I have to choose and take shots of the images that must accompany it.

The other day, I asked him to come along for a sunflower photo shoot in UP Diliman. I told him I needed it for an article I am writing. The sunflowers will be wilting soon so, we needed to get some exposures otherwise, wait for another year for them to bloom. He said I could do it on my own but I insisted for him to come along. I am persistent especially if a certain situation favors me. So there, we went. After I got all the shots I needed, I asked him to go under the coconut tree and pose for me. Yebah.

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i got the weirdest dream the other night. it's also weird that i remember the details (so) well. i usually don't.

Shrek 3 is on board this week. Got (wish) to see it. My sister, she got (so) fascinated by the name of Princess Fiona, Shrek's loveydoo in the movie, that she named her first born dowter, Fiona a.k.a Nana (she's the stubborn kiddo i featured in my yesterday's entry).

Summer powers este flowers pala

Sunflowers attract bees without the effort. I wonder why.

I don't know what these bunch of flowers are called but I call them the blues.

These are blooms from the fire tree. The only reason I like the month of May is because the fire trees start to fire up with its deep orange flowers.

Another favorite, the golden shower. They come around during the month of May as well.

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May 14 is Election Day. Stop whining. First, excercise your right to vote.

Sheds, checkpoint, palm trees, and other sorts of things

This is the checkpoint, which also serves as the entrance point/gate when entering the vicinity of the University of the Philippines (UP) Diliman campus. All vehicles are required to slow down while the UP Police, in their uniform and orange vest, checks on you. What I love about this particular spot are those pointed, angular sheds located at both sides of the road. The only uniquely structured shed I've seen so far in the country.

Meanwhile, in the UP Los Baños (UPLB) campus, all vehicles are required to have a sticker affixed on the right side of their front window glass. Jeepneys for example are required to have the blue sticker. If a vehicle has no sticker, the UP Police will question the motorists and ask what's their business inside the campus. Private vehicles are given temporary sticker to enter. Entering the campus, you'll be greeted with a horde of palm trees all standing tall and lined up at the side of the road. It's a facinating site. I am an adoring fan of these palm trees. This is uniquely UPLB since they don't have them in UP Diliman campus. Also featured in the photo is the gigantic torch, which I always make fun of, for some strange reason (above photo). I just feel that it ruins the mood. But then again, you'll have carabao with wings at the other side of the campus. :-)

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I went scuba diving yesterday in Subic. The scorching heat of the sun didn't stop me. The beautiful corals, the school of fish, holding Nemo in my hand, seeing an actual blue tang, and feeling the vast deep blue water of the Marina Bay are enough compensation for my burnt skin and my aching shoulders. The tip of my nose is burnt too (i look really stupid). I'll have the series ready next week.

Unibersidad ng Pilipinas: UP Ikot and UP College...jeepneys in display!

In UP Diliman, there's the UP Ikot and the UP Toki (the reverse route). This shot was taken along the Osmeña Avenue, on my way to the Melchor Hall (the College of Engineering).

Looks like political activism is still very much alive in UP. The jeep is on its way to Vinzon's Hall. "Ibagsak ang rehimeng Nemenzo!"

Let's go to another great campus, UPLB. Going inside the campus, means riding the jeep with the "UP College" signboard. There's also the hand signs if one needs to go to the lower (main) or the upper campus (forestry) and other surrounding agencies (IRRI, IPB, NCPC, APEC, etc.). UPLB is home to hard science courses.

The structures and designs of the jeepneys in UPLB have some great distinction compared from the usual jeepneys roaming around UP Diliman campus. Take this photo for example. The inside of this particular jeep is spaceous and comfortable. Plus, the window is really big with very minimal obstructions, so one gets more air. This jeep is on its way to the Baker Hall.

This is the Thai Pavillion, my favorite spot in UPLB. It makes the campus really look Oriental. Early May, this place will look really awesome with the fire trees and golden shower in full bloom.

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I ride this steel everyday. I have two favorite spots when riding the jeep. One is in front, beside the driver's seat. It's so cosy sitting there, as long as it's just me and the driver. I pay for the other vacant seat in front if I really want it spaceous. I can see everything from that spot, plus the position of the seat is really nice for viewing. The second is located at the rear of the passengers' seats (yung pinakadulo). I am not too keen on sitting at the back of the driver because then, I have to get all the passengers' fares. It's not an obligation but you have to do it. With that particular seat comes this great responsibility. Be the assistant of the driver cum conductor. I hope, we'll be like Singpore someday. Their mode of payment in their public transportations is very efficient and systematic. Be it in taxi, train, or the bus.

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Diong, if you're reading this...i would like to say an astounding 'THANK YOU' from the bottom of my heart. I received the really huge envelope early this morning. I got all your three works in tact. It really made my day! Salamat talaga. I will have them framed and put them in my art wall. :-)

There are actually loads of things to do during the summer...

You can walk your dog like this guy whom I practically followed around. The moment I spotted him, I already envisioned this shot. And I wanted to get it right. I experimented a bit, instead of focusing him and the dog, I aimed straight for those dry leaves). I was on my knees getting this shot. Good thing there's no one around to give me the wary look.

Or you can jog like Ms. Finisher here. There were a horde of people jogging around the campus but she got the best of my attention. Why? Because we practically have the same outfit when I jog (the rubber shoes, the black short, a killer shirt, a baseball cap...and not to forget, the strut. Ha.)

Or like these three ladies, you can watch the weekend soccer practice at the Sunken Garden. The girl in green was texting and she went looking my way after I hit the shutter. I gave her the innocent look, pretended I didn't do anything, and ran for my life!

Or you can do the PDA (public display of affection), which is a favorite activity for some people, even though the weather is hot. It's more like sticking your sweat with the one you love, yeba, yeba! I am not too keen on showing once affection in public but that's just me. Plus, I don't have anyone worthy of displaying my affection with. I am all bollocks! :p

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Kagabi, habang nagpapaypay ako sa gitna ng kaiinitan ng gabi, sari-saring aspeto ang pumapasok sa isip ko. Yung tipong hindi mo lagi naiisip pero basta mo na lang naiisip (labo noh?). Gaya halimbawa, paano mo ba babaguhin ang pag-iisip ng isang tao na mas matigas pa sa bato? Na tipong hindi ka magmumukhang OA sa pagkumbinsi? Lagi kong ipinagmamalaki ang Pilipinas sa ibang tao, lalo na yung mga puti. Kahit gaano pa kapangit minsan ng ugali ng mg Pinoy, pinagtatanggol ko pa rin. Pero kamusta naman. Mismong ako, naloloko at natatanga ng kalahi ko. O kaya naman paano ka magtatapat sa taong sobrang minamahal mo (putek, ang korni ko!)? Or paano mo sasabihin sa isa na, "tigilan mo na ako, wala talaga akong gusto sayo!"? (ang yabang). Ah, andami ko talagang naiisip kagabi na sobrang late na ako nakatulog.

Siguro kase wala si Oki sa bahay kaya sari-sari ang naiisip ko. Makuwento kase yun eh. O baka dala ng init ng panahon. Putek kaseng global warming yan. Kelan kaya ako ga-graduate sa MA ko? hmmm. Kelan kaya ako matututong mag-Ilokano? Diakamo.

Bicycle ride on a warm, sunny morning

A fine looking lady getting the breeze of the summer heat around the Baker Hall (UP Los Baños).

A group of cyclists doing their usual rounds at the Sunken Garden (UP Diliman).

She looks so cool in her bike. I was stalking her and she doesn't seem to mind (UP Diliman campus).

He was the gardener who was tending the sunflowers. He's cool too. (UP Diliman campus)

These shots were taken around the university campuses of UP Diliman and UPLB. I spent most of my weekdays in Diliman and my weekends in Los Baños and people watching has become a mundane habit of mine. When I was still living in Los Baños, I used to whine a lot, asking myself when will I ever get out of that place. I've practically lived there my whole life, from primary to my tertiary education. Now that I am working in Manila, I keep thinking "Man, when will I ever get outta here."

Could be the summer heat but I've been aching to go somewhere. Siargao Island for instance. It's the surfing capital of the country but I don't fancy surfing that much. Diving and spelunking are much in my mind lately. Diving at least. Ah, work sucks sometimes. It spoils the summer. My boss isn't around and won't be around for two weeks or so but he left me some heavy workloads. Bosses...they're the best! (all pun intended).

Summer heat and dead trees

there is that tall tree
in the garden that
gnaws at my loneliness
the tree that looms
into sky and my heart
with a chilling quietness
that cries that
'it has gone on for too long'.

- Chunghoo (excerpt from That Lonely Tree)

Someone once told me that, the essence of a tree are their leaves. Without them, they seem to be dead. I beg to differ. They "seem" dead, but life flows through them and people with better judgement know that this stage passes too. Exactly like the summer heat. I don't fancy flowers that much, but I like these "seemingly" dead trees. I like looking at them. I like the image they depict into the world.

What it's like in Manila right now? I got two words for you. Summer Heat. If I am not mistaken, the weather already marked from at least 32 to 35 degrees Celcius. Boy, it's sizzling here. I went out the other day to take some photos. It's very early in the morning and I already accrued a mass of sweat without even the effort. I've been through this clammy weather before, but I guess one will never get used it. Putek, ang init talaga!

The photos above were taken in strangely different locations. My favorite spots somewhere in UP Diliman and UPLB. All I have to do was to look up, stare, and find them smiling back at me. Then I'll come back a few months after and the next thing I know, they'll be growing their lovely leaves again. Flowers are bonuses to feast on. This is nature's miracles and it may happen more often than we thought, we just chose to ignore it.